2003-10-22 04:44:50 (UTC)

rita wu/red eye gravy

so i am sitting at the bar with my brother with all the
other locals watching the game. rita calls all frantic and
i step outside to talk to her.
there is suddenly a plethora of glenn drama going on. they
have hung out a total of 5 times in 2 weeks, one of which
was the loss of virginity night.
they are, to sum it up simply, both very insecure about the
opposite sex, they are untrusting and very very afraid.
afraid especially of eachother. cause they really fancy
eachother very much. (its obvious i just finished a brit
novel. fancy. its a much more fun word than LIKE or
something 5th grade like that)
she says: i told him i wasnt so sure i wanted to see him
anymore because this was all getting too serious and just
seemed like too much to deal with and i dont want to lead
him on cause im not sure ill be able to follow through and
i dont know where this is heading and blah blah blah. they
part and he later writes her an email saying basically well
i cant deal with this, and off with you before you can get
rid of me, i feel ive invested so much already and part of
me is happier than ive ever been and part of me is in
tortourous hell and blah blah blah.
she calls me very upset relaying these things and reading
me his mails and i say, good lord rita the both of you need
to RELAX. its lucky for the both of you that the other is
totally crazy. perfect really.
i tell her that she partly lied to him cause i know as a
fact that she certainly does want to keep seeing him. i
also know as a fact that she is absolutely mortified at the
thought of getting close to anyone, much less a BOY. she
still has issues with ME sometimes, and we've been best
friends for ten years and have matching tatoos and have
shared the bulk of our growing up with eachother.

i tell her: this kind of thinking would sabotage any
relationship, even one with 2 perfectly well adjusted
people. you just cant be thinking far into the future when
you dont even have that MEAT yet, with this person you are
so afraid of. this person who mysteriously makes you feel
all these unfamiliar feelings.
nothing really was seeming to comfort her, so i asked , do
you want to see him again? she says yes,
i tell her then , what i think you should do, is no longer
have these super duper where is this going whats going on
conversations with him. now you are just supposed to get to
know eachother and have fun and let things develop
natually. i told her if you want to talk about how scared
you are and what kind of problems you have and your past
and blah blah then for now just talk to your friends or
write in your jounral. work things out in your own head,
and you do this with your own outlets and with your friends
who have your best interest in mind. tell him to do the
same. (which might be a problem as he's friends with a
bunch of truly crazy people)
and i told her relax relax relax, there is nothing to get
into a frightened huff about just yet.

it never ceases to amaze me, how much ritas life and mine
parrallels eachothers. its always like this. ive never
understood how that could possibly be

yanks just won game 3.

i think also a part of my good mindframe today was
finishing that about a boy book.
there was a part in it that said something like, people
dont kill themselves because they have something to look
forward to. something might happen. no matter how small it
may be. what may happen on next weeks episode of whatever
tv program. will the yanks win? taking andy and gina
pumpkin picking on saturday. small things. this is what
life is. seeing what life is all about and how things turn
what was that tom robbins quote? "there may be red-eye
gravy for dinner."