champagne supernova
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2003-10-22 02:47:48 (UTC)

how many special people change?

well life and love moves on through lifes awwful twists and
turns. i for some reason have been incredibly lonesome and
sad lately. i have never missed bobby as much as i have
these past 5 days. its been so disgustingly difficult and i
cant take it anymore. Of all the past 3 years and five
months we have been together, i have never felt like this
before. ive cried so many times over him , but i just cant
seem to underdstand why at this point and time in my life
when i need him the most, i cannot be with him i
envision the smallest images of him dong every day things
and feeling evey day emotions becasue i know what its like
for him to feel and act out these things. i could simply be
walking through the tunnel and suddenly have this image
appear in my mind of him walking the opposite way angry for
some reason. the way thaa i know he shows he is angry. or i
could be sitting in class and suddenly hear the door open
and imagine that its him walking into class late.
yet i relize watching the people around me how much we
all take each other for granted. that person sitting next
to you in third period that you talk to evey day might not
be there there tomorrow. you just never know.
i am stilll in shock that next summer is it for us
and i have never been more anxious in my life.he moves out
here, and if for some reason he cant make it hear, i AM
going there. no question in my mind and nothing holding me
back anymore. i cant take it anymore. i cant and i am so
incredibly stressed over whether or not i will be able to
make it out there for christmas becasue as of now, i dont
have the money. god what do i do?

miss him.

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