Dave's B-day and Desperate People
so my good friend and former roommate turned 21. his
parents were kind enough to rent him and his friends a
nice ole limo for a night. now you see, the last thing we
need is a reason to just let it all out for one night.
yes we got completely fucking trashed. basically i was so
drunk i could have had sex with that raccoon if i could
just have gotten it all alone in the back seat of the
anyhow i digress. we went to some of the clubs and bars
(as is customary for a 21 celebration). hot shit, if you
ever want to see the absolute bottom of the barrelm
sexually frustrated, low self esteem, sludge of our
society just go to a bar at around 2 am or whenever last
call is. that was the time that has now been appropriately
dubbed the "last 10 minutes of desperate hook-ups".
seriously the girls that were alone were basically looking
for 4 limbs and a pulse to drag them home and melt them
away from their misery. it was kind of uncomfortable,
because, of course the guys that they were going for by
that time knew that they were basically their consolation
prize. their resentment for the muscle-bound, tight-shirt
wearing freaks that kept them from their unrealistic
notions of grandeur now turned into a bitterly cynical
feeling of power.
basically what this one jerk-off did was make this one
girl tell him how sweet he was for about 5 mins. before he
took her and they left. it went something along the lines
of, "so why do you like me?" to which of course she has to
recite some retarded rhetoric that she probably recited in
her mind all night long.....just not for the pimply faced
skinny guy....but for that toned muscle guy.
her pitifully fake serenade, which was probably quite
genuinely memorized at the beginning now is her last sail
on her sad little boat of self-validation. just get
across that sea of nothingness, by blowing the hot
air....just to keep that god-forsaken broken sail boat
and of course as i'm there i have to see that girl that i
really only know from afar from my high school. the girl
that was decently popular in high school and someone that
kind of breaks your heart to see practically begging some
loser who has an inferiority complex.
for five dollars we got to see shit-faced girls get up on
the bar and whore themselves out with the grotesque
gyration of arythmic hips. for the one that you actually
wanted to see there were a dozen that just made you feel
empty inside as you look into their glazed eyes and caked
make up. the painfully tedious ascension of that one
overweight girl who can't quite get up onto the bar by
herself, looking like a sack of potatoes being drag up a
platform by a crane.
overall i had a fucking kick-ass time. we were all in
good form already getting threatened to get kicked out of
a place by 9 p.m. too bad for the hangover this morning.