)O( Goddess JessikA )O(

* MINDFULL * SELF * INDULGENCE *
2003-10-17 18:29:39 (UTC)

-i have nothing-

well, maybe i was denying it for a while and maybe i just
wanted to believe in something that really wasn't what it
was/is. im thinking true love is impossible to find. or
maybe its that im too needy of a person, too selfish and
always wanting more. thats what i keep thinking it is, but
then if i take the other side i see that deep down im
correct in saying that i will never find someone that cares
for me as much as i possibly could want, and those who have
almost lived up to what i have wanted have only been there
becuase they wanted something. so yes this is the way of
men and ill probably never understand why such shit must
happen. maybe i never will. ive tried to be a strong person
but it is undeniable that i am much too weak and giving to
be cruel.
i realy wish i could see the good side of people but for
some reason all i can see is the bad and the good seems
like a coverup for needing.
so what happens... i dont talk to derek in a week and all
he has to say is the same old shit he said before. what a
suprise. tell me something i dont know... cause as i sit
here waiting for him im thinking goddamn it jess you are
fucking STUPID




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