cutebaby200514

daisy1614
2003-10-14 22:57:34 (UTC)

train wreck

a lot has happened one of my friends turned bi and now is
hiding things from me and it sucks because i told her my
secret and she doesnt believe that she can trust me but
the only person i told it to was jason until another
friend of ours went n told the whole "gang" that she was
bi. and it hurts to think she cant trust me enough to tell
me she has a g/f and i had to find out through someone i
hate.
i talk to jason almost every day which is good. i'm
starting to think guys at school are cute again but i dont
think i could go out with any knowing my true feelings
unless they knew .. which one does n isnt ok w/ it so fuck
that.
today- dana started to cry at lunch b/c dee was a bitch n
i didnt know what to do b/c dana doesnt realize that the
way dee treated dana today, was the way dana treats us
every fucking day. my mom doesnt understand sometimes a
girl jus goes through a mood and she thinks there has to
be a cause.
Tonight, i was upstairs making su pper and she was like
what were u telling me n i said u gave me the wrong tally
sheet for the fundraisor n she jus goes off n me takes my
grill cheese off the burner but doesnt thake the fucker
outa the thing so there for my dinner got ruined n i threw
it out n then got yelled at for throwing it out and told
iwas stupid by both parents, then my mom started tot ell
me how i was oh so lazy and i didnt wanna do ne thing n
how i should just move into dana's house n i sho uld.. b'c
i dont get yelled at there i feel comftorable to talk to a
mom there and that mom understands me more than the mom
here. I dont u nderstand why she has such a problem w/ me
going to dana's b/c u know what when i'm at home i dont
see her anyways and the food she makes is fattening when
i'm at dana's i dont eat.. and she says i go over n pig
out fuck her! so then my mom is jus bitching and bitching
and bitching and for the longest time she jus bitches it
feels like someones tearing my insides out n crunching on
my heart she says that i'm being a bitch today (she's a
bitch every day) and that i am spoiled la la la and i'm
being a bitch b/c i hang out w/ dana dee n danielle too
much sorry if those are the people who make me happy and u
know what she does as a punishment??? takes away the only
thing i love.. if u kno what that means.. i'm done
i wish i could jus tell her how she makes me feel but if i
did that i'd get beat... i dunno i wanna get outa here
asap i cant take it ne more i'm not happy anymore i used
to be happy when i was at home .. sometimes. now the only
time i'm h appy is 2nd block and when i'm at dana's... or
talking to jason sometimes. gotta go




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