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2003-10-14 03:41:31 (UTC)

what if i never have a baby?

what if my tits just keep getting bigger?
what if i never leave the country again?
what if she goes to colorado and i never see her again?
what if in 10 years im still sitting here in front of my
computer sobbing about god knows what

what if i'm the crazy 80 year old cat lady living alone in
some shitty apartment, still worrying about money and
working an hourly shit job, never contributed anything to
the world my 70 pound tits sagging to the floor with a
voice box and cigarette in my hand popping pills all day
with my cup of coffee and razors and my stupid little books
i fill with stupid little words just trying to figure this
fucking mess of myself out and my wrinkly skin thoroughly
covered in scars by this point and i go to bed alone every
night and cry myself to sleep hoping death will take me
before morning comes?

or what if i just dont wait to find out?

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