Self harming dyke
Things are really tough sometimes. I am just struggling to
keep on top from day to day. Anyone out there who has been
depressed (and let's face it, who hasn't?) will understand
this feeling that there is just a constant struggle.
The thought that if I fuck this up that is my last chance
is the only thing that keeps me persistent and makes me
work at it... but how long can that last?
Getting out of bed is hard. Sleeping for more than an hour
at a time is impossible. The best parts of the day are
cycling in to uni and back... oh and seeing Christine.
Three days in school now so I won't see her and I have to
face the staff and pupils and be a teacher... not the usual
masked me, but another one. I have to put the "teacher"
I didn't cut or drink last night but I am sure that I will
do both a lot on Thursday night, after this week's school
Help me. I just want to keep it together. I want to do
well. I just need to hang on for 8 months then I have the
teacher status and I can opt out for a bit.
8 months. 32 weeks. 224 days. 5376 hours. 322560 minutes.