psychomagnet

like the stars above.

"ive finally come to the conclusion that i am completly out
of control. and im sorry if my instability has negatively
affected you. im sorry if ive disappointed you. and im
sorry that i hurt you. i also realize that sorrys mean
nothing in the grand scheme of things. but it seems thats
all i can really say. that and i love you. much more than
my actions or words will ever convey. and, i hope that we
can get through this fuck up, as we have gotten though so
many before in the many years that youve been in my life. i
love you. and seeing you cry this morning made me feel more
than ive felt in a very long time. im so very very sorry
baby..i love you so very much. 3."

i cant even fucking breathe im so hysterical with the fact
that i have lost myself again and i dont even have a
fucking clue what direction to go to fix it or how it
happened and i cant call her shes not able or interested in
talking to me or anything else and im tired of this shit 9
weeks of fucking bleeding and i think that my veins will
soon have no blood in them because its all coming out of my
fucking cunt and it hurts and im scared of that im not
going to the fucking doctor because he's going to tell me i
cant have babies and then i really am going to kill myself
so i wont go to the doctor i just want it to go away and i
want to run away from here and never see anyone again
because they dont care about me and why should they im a
fucking crazy fucked up worthless bitch and im not even a
cute one anymore and i cant eat anything without throwing
up and i dont even have anyone to talk to anymore and i
really fucking wish that i would die in my sleep tonight i
cant take this anymore and i cant do anything at all all i
can do is sit here in my hysterical sobbing with my fucking
little razor like these pussy little cuts are guna fix
anything have they ever FIXED ANYTHING HAS ANYTHING EVER
FIXED ANYTHING NO NO NO IT FUCKING HASNT AND THE LAST
FUCKING THING I NEED IS HIM CALLING ME "WHATS THE MATTER"
FUCK YOU THATS WHATS THE MATTER FUCK YOU AND FUCK ME AND
FUCK EVERYONE WHO EVER THOUGHT THAT THEY COULD SAVE ME OR
LOVE ME WITHOUT RIPPING IT AWAY AND LEAVING ME EVEN WORSE
OFF THAN THEY FOUND ME FUCK IT ALL AND EVERYTHING ELSE I
WANT TO TAKE ALL THE LOVE INSIDE ME AND CUT IT OUT AND
DESTROY IT AND BE MEAN AND HATEFUL AND SELFISH LIKE
EVERYONE ELSE IN THIS WORLD BECAUSE THIS. IS not FUCKING
working FOR ME ANYMORE IT NEVER DID AND IT NEVER WILL AND I
AM DONE LOVING PEOPLE WHO DONT GIVE A SHIT ABOUT ME WHICH
IS EVERYONE IM DONE WITH EVERYTHING I DONT FUCKING CARE IT
DOESNT MATTER HOW MUCH YOU CARE YOU JUST GET FUCKED AND
FUCKED OVER AND THROWN ASIDE AND I HOPE I DIE TONIGHT