Self harming dyke
2003-10-10 22:05:52 (UTC)


I am battling so hard not to cut tonight. I think I will
manage to avoid it, cos I am really determined after events
today. I talked to Christine about the fact that I missed
lectures this week. I told her how I am having such trouble
sleeping. She was really understanding, and I decided not
to tell her about other stuff. I know I have to be really
careful cos I like her ;) and I don't want to get too

I am really knackered and so looking forward to a lie-in
tomorrow. But I have to do some work this weekend. I
started the school placement on wednesday and it could be
better, but could also be sooooo much worse! I really
really want to do this well, so I am going to try again.

Try again to stop cutting. I managed it for months before,
so why shouldn't it work again? I know it will help me cos
it does give a real sense of achievement... but it is an
addiction so, like all addictions, it is not easy to resist
and I have to be careful to avoid just replacing it with
something else.

I almost managed not to drink tonight. It is 11pm and I
have only had a third of bottle of wine. I didn't start
drinking til nearly 10. Sounds silly, but that is an
improvement for me...

Thanks for the replies from those of you who read this. It
is nice to hear from you.

OK. I should go to bed now (sleep... lovely!!!)

Cat x

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