Nan_da _Lesbian

Life_of_Nan_da_Lesbian
2003-10-08 01:02:49 (UTC)

Why do my feelings seem to change so much????

One day I love her with all my heart. When I feel this way
I want to be with her right then and there. Other days
when I have not heard from her and I start thinking
everything and everyone is more important then myself I
just want to end it so I don't feel sad anymore. Those
thoughts lead to thinking why should I say I have a
girlfriend when I don't talk to her as much, I don't get to
feel her as much, and most of all I don't feel as loved as
much as I used to, I might as well be single.
So many times I have wanted to tell her my feelings and how
I feel neglected and left out and that I don't feel
involved in her life like I used to be. I want to ask her
why she went back on her promise that we had made to each
other that we would never be rid of the "honeymoon" stage.
I want to ask her why she only calls me now to tell me what
hours she needs me to "nanny" for her, why she does not
call me anymore just to hear my voice or just because she
needs someone to listen to her. I want to ask her why on
the weekends after the kids are in bed and he is gone why
she does not ask me to come over to spend "alone" sensual
time together. I want to ask these questions so bad but
then I see her or she calls me and I just can't get myself
to tell her my feelins or ask her these questions. I can't
figure out if its because I don't want her to get mad at me
or if i'm afraid of what she will say to me. I love her
with all my heart and I can not see my life without her and
her family(kids & husband). Wow what do I do i'm so
confused.




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