Claudia

once again
2003-10-06 05:03:45 (UTC)

a realization

I love him...I do. I didn't think I did anymore like I was
inlove with him but, honestly, I"m dissappointed in myself
for htis. But if he was to call me right now and tell me
how much in love with me he was and he would never cheat or
lie or steal or anything that he did to me in the past I
would be with him again.
I love Shawn. I don't think I'd move back to florda.
Atleast not now. I can't support myself there and while I
love the weather it's nothing but bad news. But honestly
if Shawn told me he had money to come here again and live
here and support me forever I'd take him back again.
I hate myself for this. I don't want to be inlove with him
still. Itold myslef when I was with Eric that I was never
in Love with Shawn but he's all that on my mind. I don't
know.
Is it infatuation for the good times we had so long ago. I
though I loved Eric. He truely made me happy but now that I
saw him that one night in Florida I kinda think he did just
use me. OR maybe it's just the addiction that he has that
make me feel that way. I don't know. I don't know my realy
feeling anymore.
Maybe it's Eric I'm inlove with and all the good times
Shawn showed me and the fun we had. I don't know. I'm
lost.