No One Cares About My Name.

Depressed and Anguished
2003-10-02 06:07:09 (UTC)

Why?

Okay, so I had to go to conselling, it sucked, I have to go
on anti-depressants. My mother made me an appointment to
also get birth control at the same time, then told me I have
to pay for it. Bullshit.

Last night, I got into another fight with my parents, which
ended in me making my mother cry and storm off, me calling
my father a hypocrite, and him calling me immature. Then, I
found out that my counsellor told my parents what we
discussed in counselling, and that pissed me off.

Then, my vet mishandled my cat trying to give him pain
mdeicine after he was declawed and neutered, so he tore all
the sutres in his right paw and they kept him again.

My boyfriend came over about 9 pm, and admitted that he was
stoned. We talked for almost 2 hours. I don't know what to
do. He was afraid I was going to leave him, and he wanted
me to do more than just talk. He wanted me to hit him or
something, but I had never been in that kind of situation.

I mean, I feel betrayed, and hurt. Really hurt. He said he
won't dwell as long because of my reaction, but what he
doesn't know is that I cried for the first time in almost 6
years. I am beginning to understand love, and it's scary.
He got kicked out because his parents thought he stayed out
all night, when in reality, he had to leave early and have
me to work by 6 am. Now he lives in his truck.

I smell like weed, and I don't want to. I am very against
drugs because I've seen how it can fuck people up, and it's
a Federal Offense, and I don't want to visit him in prison.

More later ... off to write some poetry and shit ... maybe
drink some Jack Daniels.




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