Jessi Lynn

It's My Life
2003-10-01 16:28:56 (UTC)

All Tumbling Down

So ya havent written in this thing in a while cuz i though
everything was going good but i was definetly kidding
myself..so this past weekend we went to the horse show
which was actually kinda fun..i was soo tired tho and in a
lot of pain from standing and holding the horses alll
day..so that night i had to finish my powerpoint
presentation and cheryl came over to help and she was like
im confused and or some reason I had like a fuckin nervous
breakdown..i dont know why but i like started crying and i
coulnt stop and i didnt know why..so ya she got pissed and
left and i apologized b/c i didnt know what was wrong and
i really didnt..so ive been trying to figure out whats
wrong with me..so then monday i had a good day..i went to
my lesson and Pat said that she saw improvement in my
heels and legs and stuff and she could tell that i was
working out.then i was over cheryls most of the night
which was fun but i never go over there when seh not there
cuz i dunno what i would talk to lauren and kier and erin
about..im friends with them but i feel like im a friend
through cheryl.i dunno why..so then the next day i hung
out with christine in the morning..oh and i hang out with
chrisitne all the time..shes the only thing right now that
is keeping me sane..anyway so yesterday she ims m and is
like OMG kelly is up here and chrisitne just got a new
roomie and we didnt want kelly to meet her but she was
determined i guess lol..so i rescued chrisitne like the
many times sh has rescued me..so last night i was in her
room all night b/c at english comp class my teacher was
all like i dont understand your story and i have to have a
meeting wth her an i went to cheryls cuz lauren wanted me
to braid her hair and i was cryin again and i didnt kno
why..its just a dumb ppaer but i got really upset..so then
today was the catastrpohe of alll days..i was talking to
cindy online abut what she has been up to latley and I
thoguht that cheryl was pickin her up on thursday b4
homecoming and shes all like no shes comin friday and i
was confused so cheryl came over like 2 minues later and
shes like im gettin her on thursday so it got into this
whol big thing ho we were all confused and cindy was like
well I have sorority mixers and meetings and shit and i
know whats important to her but she oiginally said that we
could get her after and now shes like its not gonna be
over til 3 in the morning so now cherylhas to miss all her
classes on friday but whatever that was the original
plan..but for some reason I started crying again and i was
like arguing with cindy and i didnt know why like i think
it was all the pent up anger becasue i cant stand my
roommate but im nice to her so i have no where for all
that pent up anger and hatred to go and i think it was
just i couldnt hold anymore stuff in and cindy was all
like fine dont get me then but i want to see her cuz shes
my best friend and i have this anxiety that if i dont see
her then our friendship is gonna end cuz shes got all her
new sorotity sisters..so ya now i thik that ill be fine
after i go home this weekend for octoberfest cuz i just
really need to get away from kelly as much as possible and
it miht even be better after homcoming cuz ill see
everyone again cuz im always better after i see my riends
like after we hung out wit marissa i was in the best mood
so i dont kno but i think i need a therapist lol..someone
help