Jin

Gay, London and Oriental. Take A Look ;)
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2003-10-01 13:36:51 (UTC)

The Light at the End

This September has been the most dramatic part of my life,
alot of hardship, emotions and guilt so high that it clouds
the sky. In time things will get better...

September 4th
Today I was suppose to meet with Pip (Phil, if I ever call
him by this name just remember they are the same person) at
10.30 uptown. He just came from Scotland (around 2 days
before) meeting up with his so called "boyfriend". I woke
up really early to meet up with him. I went to an internet
cafe beforehand and he was still online. Then I received a
text message not from him but from someone I knew saying
that he couldn't make it as he didn't have money to get
uptown and that he was sorry. I was of course pissed off
but then anyone would. Stayed at the internet cafe from
10.30-11.30. At around 11.20 I got a text, I thought it was
from Pip but it wasn't. Turned out that it was Ron (I may
have mentioned that this guy stood me up a few entries
back), he invited me down to Bexleyheath and asked if he
wanted to meet for a drink. I was still kinda unsure about
him but then again one person didn't meet me and another
one seems to come up. So I left there as quickly as
possible and went back down. I met him and we went to
Lloyds and talked about alot of things. He was kinda scared
of me, but then again everyone is sorta =. We spoke alot
and asking how he was and what has he been upto. I had a
bag of tricks that was suppose to be for Pip. It had party
poppers, confetti, silly string and some whipped cream (for
embarassment and NOTHING ELSE!). I showed him it and
squirted silly string in Lloyds, it was funny and he seemed
to laughed quite a bit. After that we went around
Bexleyheath shopping center, just window shopping and that
was fun. We went the bowling alley afterwards, it wasn't
even opened, so I got out the silly string and chased him
out of there. He dropped his phone in the bushes so I had
to ring it to find it. It was funny. We then walked towards
Danson Park, sat down in some place and talked for a bit. I
was asking him about his boyfriend and he said hes fine. I
could tell that he was holding something back. I said to
him "you're holding back something whats wrong?"
He replied "You really wanna know?" I of course said yes,
then he went "I think you're really cute and I fancied
you.." I was like ok, what do you I do? So I moved a bit
closer and we kissed. At first he went that he couldn't
kiss very well and I just said "relax, slowly and throughly"
We kissed a bit more and oh well he got better ^_^.
I called Pip because he said that he was gonna go uptown
again when his mum comes back. Called him at least four
times and he never picked up. I was going to go uptown
anyway, Ron asked if he could go because he had nothing
better to do, so I said sure he can. He went and bought
some cigarettes first and then we were off uptown.
We went to Ku bar, had a few shots (yes blowjobs) and
kissed everytime we had one. After two each we left and
went to G-A-Y bar where we stayed for the majority of the
night. We kissed, cuddled, hugged, touched, talked it was
so romantic. Anyone looking in would have mistaken us for a
couple, it was just that. We stayed there till about 9
where we got something to eat and then backed towards G-A-Y
bar. We stayed there till 10 and left feeling guilty. Ron
looked like he about to cry and I said I was sorry for
doing to him. We went back to the station and then we went
our seperate ways. He went to Colchester to meet up with a
friend and we spoke online for a bit there. A few days
later he broke up with his boyfriend and a week following
that he got back with him. That was the last I know of him
and I good luck to him.

September 15th- Went back to university with Michael and
Hayley for a semi induction, there was little or no point
of us actually going. Still it felt like old times again
and looking forward to starting university next week. Later
that night I got ready to go out with Deren. He invited me
to have a few drinks at Covent Garden at a place called the
RoadHouse. It had a happy hour which runs between 5.30-8.30
where 2 cocktails are £3.50. Daniel (Deren's cousin), Jaime
and Monica (college friend of Deren) were all there. We all
chatted and drank quite a bit. I had a 6 cocktails
altogether and had bits of others. More people came but I
didn't know who they were. After happy hour finished we
made our way to Cheers in Regents Street. All drinks were
£2 but I didn't drink there. Monday night had a music
playing which was good, it was a mash up of everything,
mostly pop, rnb and dance music. It was ok upto the point
till they started playing school disco songs ¬_¬, where I
just sat down. I left around 2ish with Monica and we got
something at Burger King. We spoke quite a bit on the
nightbus home and got home around 4ish. It was a good
night, had a few drinks and good to see Deren.

September 18th-Went to the Ghetto again and met up with
Ben. He was chirpy and happy like always, just came from a
Ladytron concert. He went with Andy who I've met before and
a guy named Patrick. Baz was there as well said hi and
asked how he was. He was ok feeling alot better which is
good. We danced quite a bit and I frequented to G-A-Y and
ghetto like i did last time, the bouncer of the Ghetto
wasn't too happy. Me and Ben were mostly dancing and the
other 2 were just sitting drinking. There was a group
called Kitchen (they were formed from 2 groups, the girl
from a group called Bis and someone from Discount) there,
playing the type of music that would be popular in the
Ghetto, electronica. It was a good night, although its not
really my scene. You know the saying "its not the place or
the venue its the company you're with" I guess that applies
here too. Oh well.

September 20th- I haven't spoken to Pip for a few days now.
After work and I came home shattered and went to bed. Woke
up at around 4ish and called Pip. I called him from my
other phone and he asked "Who was this?" I replied "Its the
person you hate!" we both laughed and talked for a bit. I
said " I'm bored wanna do something". He said yeah we
should and arranged to meet up uptown. I was kinda hesitant
if he was going to actually be there so I called him
frequently. I went uptown beforehand and he said he was
going to be there around 8 ish, I was there at 7. Went to
Waterloo and stayed at Namco Station for a bit. Sat down
somewhere and lo and behold a familiar looking face was
right by me. It was Pip. He was looking well him , we
hugged and said hey, I asked him how J ho was (on faceparty
his "boyfriend") and he laughed. For the rest of the night
we referred him to the one and only J ho. We walked past
the London Eye asking how he was, basically finding every
opportunity to laugh, it was great, like friends meeting
eachother for the first time in a long while and it had
been. The last time we seen eachother was back in June but
we've kept in touch nearly everyday after that. So we spoke
about everything, walked along the bridge next to Charing
Cross station and headed towards the scene. We went to Ku
bar had a few drinks and kissed (deja vous). We sat down
and spoke for a bit, laughed alot like we always do. We
then headed off to G-A-Y bar. We walked for a bit and we
saw a few familiar faces. Went upstairs found a place to
sit, then we drunk, chat, kissed, drunk, kissed, chat etc.
What happened that night was bound to happen, it had just
been building up and up. It didn't feel wrong and it didn't
feel right (if you understand what I mean =). After we
left we went our seperate ways and that was it. Soon after
I came home he was saying online "lets do it again!" I was
like can't today, probably Tuesday. So that was it. Over
the next week it became just one slagging match between
people who aren't even involved. More details later.

September 23rd- Went to Croydon to visit Pip.We spent the
day chatting, laughing and going on about whats happened on
Saturday. We was basically talking about the merits of his
relationship with J Ho and that about the other online
people he conversed with about what happened. Went to a few
shops and talked, it was great, I mean I think that me and
him are just going to be friends and nothing else. The
relationship I have for him is a love/hate thing. There are
times when I do really like him and there are times when I
wanna rip his balls out and feed them to rabid dogs! I
don't trust him but then again I doubt that many people
trust me after the recent events.
Croydon is a really nice area, it was like the first time
in ages since I've actually seen trams, its good to go
visit places. He was tired so he bought some coffee and
Starbucks, sat outside and talked about other things. Went
out looking in shops, just him basically giving me a tour
of his town. Nice to get out, nice to go out and nice to be
with friends.

September 26th-Today was Jamies Birthday (actually it was
on Sunday but he decided to celebrate it today) his 20th. I
went to Uni but the lecturer seemed to have buggered off to
somewhere and I still had to get his present. So I left
there as soon as possible went online from 3.30 to 4 then
left to get his present. Went into Bexleyheath got him the
new Muse album and then went home. By the time I got in it
was 6 and I had to be ready by 6.30. I was already changed
and ready to go. Sam rang me and told me to go outside and
he picked me up. We then headed towards Michaels house
where I dropped off an album and then went to Emilys to
pick her up and after that made our way to Sidcup Pizza
Express. It rained quite a bit that night and I didn't
think to bring an umbrella and a very thin coat . . We
arrived at around 7.30. Went in a saw all our friends.
Rupesh, Amy, Richard, Vicky, Becki, Ryan and of course
Jamie. We chatted, drank and had a very good time. Spoke to
Amy about the last incident we had and she was still a bit
upset by that. After chatting we seemed to be ok about it
now, I was rude that night and I was really sorry. Spoke to
everyone and told about what I have been getting upto. Gave
Jamie his gift and he seemed to be happy. It was so nice to
have a meal with all your friends. At times I consider
myself so lucky to have known such a vast array of
characters and people, that I've grown to love and really
appreciate over time. The meal was great and nothing bad
happened that night, although we do seem to have a habit of
staying in restaurants for ages hehe. Got home around
11ish, went to bed shortly after.

September 30th- This was it, this night was going to be
when all the shit and rumours and bitching that have
accumulated between me, Pip and J ho (nickname for
Pip's "boyfriend")since the incident to end. J Ho came down
that day and we were going to rendevous with a few others
for a drink in a few bars uptown. I went to Namco station
situated at Waterloo. Went there at 7 and played a few
games till around 8ish. I called Pip to ask where he was
and he was just leaving. I had to go pick up someone from
Waterloo station. His name was Jean Pierre (jp); I've known
him for a while but never met him before. We walked from
Waterloo to Ku bar where everyone was to meet. We were the
first ones there. Went upstairs and spoke for a bit and
bought drinks for both of us. While buying drinks I saw
James, someone I knew in secondary school and seem to bump
in weird places that we wouldn't expect to see eachother.
Asked how he was and how was his boyfriend and he said he
was fine and his boyfriend was at home doing whatever. Went
back upstairs and chatted to Jean a bit more. We sat
overlooking the entrance downstairs so we had a clear view
of who was coming and going. Carl came in, went upstairs
and we said hello and stuff. I called Pip frequently but
his phone kept cutting off. Around 9ish him and J ho came.
I ran out and shouted "BITCH!" at Pip. We all greeted
eachother and said our hellos. I got a call from Del
shortly afterwards and I went back to Charing Cross Station
to get him. We spoke for a bit on the way there and then we
regrouped back at Ku. Everyone was having a good time,
chatting, drinking and just being happy being there. We
then went off to G-A-Y bar to carry on the drinking fest. I
was mainly laughing and taking the piss with Pip, the rest
were standing around talking and drinking. We all sat down
and carried on chatting, then there was a part where I
elbowed Carl by accident and I can't really remember how
that actually happened, he was not happy and being a
fucking bitch like he always was. Went off home with Del
and that was it. A night to end all nights, the end of the
month, a time to look back? Nah. A time to move on and
never look back...


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