nin137

Nick's Journal
2003-10-01 00:58:10 (UTC)

How come everyone's in such a god-damn hurry?

everytime i meander through campus i notice that there are
a lot of people not meandering, more specifically they are
darting. in their cars, on their bikes, and with the rap
tapping of the soles of their feet pounding the poor
earth. now my question is, what's the big fucking rush?
is there some sort of meeting that i'm missing out on?
some free vagina?
sure i've been in a hurry and i've been stuck in traffic,
but if i just sit back for a split second and ask
myself, "nick....why are you in such a big fucking rush?"
i realize that i don't have shit to do! i should be glad
i'm stuck in traffic cos it gives me something to do.
i mean sure, i have quizes, tests, and work. studying,
research, girlfriend, drugs, but seriously what do i
really have to DO? absolutely nothing. it's all just
ephemereal so why not just sit in the agitation of
impatience? why not stand in frustration, waiting for
that god-forsaken glop of food?
i ain't got shit to do! yet.....i always want everything
now. whenever a web page takes a while to load, a
download too long to complete. i sit in anxiety. that
tag that scraps against my neck, pissing me off, but
knowing that for the moment there's nothing i can do. for
the moment. and then i look to better my efficiency.
that i get places faster, i accomplish things
quicker.....and then? well then, i sit around in a daze
of passive contemplation. i sit here doing nothing.
thank god i've proactively re-adjusted my schedule to make
way for the busy aspects of my life. like watching espn
motion.
i walk slowly though. people whisk by me so damn quickly,
cars veer around me as a cross streets....people push
through me to get their grub. yes......through me. it is
as if they just pass through me, cept for that fat dude
that got stuck between me and the salad bar, haha.
or this chick at the career fair, she was constantly
pushing her way to the front of everything, with her crisp
vertically striped suit......just like 300 other girls
there. see i wonder if those girls are all pissed at each
other for wearing their suit.
then as i am pushed aside by someone frantically flying
through the race of life i just think of the leisure of
just sitting and reading. they're not getting ahead of
anything or anybody. they will wreck themselves and have
break-downs, but for what? eh? for that extra point?
that extra green light? come on guys. if life were just
accumulation then we wouldn't have free time. we wouldn't
make free time, and we wouldn't have the urge to enjoy
it.
i guess the joke is truly on them. those that rush.
nothing like sitting back and watching the rats race.