Pacifico: Rock's Modest Models
2003-09-28 23:50:35 (UTC)

much love to you

Wow, what can I say. The last few days have been nothing
less of amazing and very very hectic. I have been going to
sleep late and waking up early all week and it caught up to
me.I moved all my furniture and odds and ins I am not
taking with me back to my parents house. And I think that
is when it hit me. I am really moving and it's happening
soon. Saturday was one full day. With going to bed at
around 3 or 4 and then getting up at 8, with having a cold
and aboout to fall asleep I am suprised I could actually
sing and not fall asleep. We played 2 shows. Fallquest and
that night at the Hard rock. I got to see so many old
friends. Both shows went way better than I thought and
better than we practiced too. It was sad to see Trey go and
very exciting to see Clay come. We made enough money to get
us a moving van and have some gas. But the highlight of the
day was playing at the Hardrock. 1st we played the show
with a guy that about 5 years ago I extremely looked up to.
And now he says he is proud of me and thinks we are
amazing. 2nd neither band we played with last night brought
anyone to the show so I knew I would find out tonight if we
had any love in the ATL. And by-golly we had about 200
people there most of them our close friends just coming to
see us off. And it was a great fun show. My highlight was
during walking away....I was looking out in the crowd
singing and I just realized these people love me and I love
them and they will be truely missed, everone of them. There
is something about seeing your friends at a show of yours,
one they don't have to be at because they have seen you so
many times and some even once already that day, yet they
are there with smiles on their faces and singing along to
everyword. I could hardly keep back the tears that were
welting in my heart and in my eyes while singing, "I'm
walking away, i'm walking away I've never been this far
away from you...and I don't know what I will do...I know
that all I need is you" I wrote those lyrics about a time
in my life where my relationship to God seemed to be
falling apart...I was "walking away" and I needed him bad
but it also grew a new meaning of love and admiration for
the close friends I have come to know, share my life with,
and grow with. I walked off that stage last night knowing
that I will always be loved by these people, that my
pounding heart wasn't just for dancing, sweating, singing
and such but for the amount of work it has done trying to
love these people. I am so thankful to God for the most
amazing life. I thank him for my family, my friends, my
girlfriend whom I love, my band, and the oppurtunity to
live the dream I thought was just a fairy tale. Thank you
Lord and Thank you friends for making everything possible.