Mercedes

you cant escape what makes you tragic
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2003-09-28 21:28:52 (UTC)

*t.w.i.n.k.s*

so many
people don't get me and how i feel and all that, but its
because there isn't really just one of me, i'm like andy
warhol's (shit did i spell that right, i hope so i fuckin
love a.w.) four marilyns picture... its the same
person but in 4 differnt colour schemes, so it's hard to
figure out which one is really her, because they are all
really her. god i'm such a fucking mess.

this little clique thing we've got going on is like a
virus. i'm so uneasy being alone now- maybe it's just the
school yr blahness starting in again. its like, 1 month
into school and my grades are actually pretty good, but
that will probably change soon. i'm having such a hard time
coping with doing all my school work and shit. i mean, i
know everyone does, but still, im just too damned left
brained to deal with this shit. (wait, is left brain the
artsy side, or is it the right?)

i can't wait to see once upon a time in mexico. johnny depp
has that same kind of andrew look. OMG OMG OMG OMG thats
it! no wonder i love andrew so much (besides the
obvious...), but no really, he shares johnny
depp's aura, only gay(er). ok now i'm sounding way too
excited. * breathe, chill *

i need to work on hiding my emotions better. i'm so
excitable. damn i forget the word for what i want tho, what
the fuck is it?/agghhhhhlsajdfalfoah. hmm, there go my
emotions again. i dont want other people knowing what i'm
feeling, i'd just rather leave them guessing. it forces
people to open up to me and tell me what THEYRE feeling so
i will tell them what i am. i love playing mind games with
people. it's mean, but fun. (...) or maybe they will just
think i'm being a cold, uncaring bitch and end up hurting
myself more in the end- oh well.

hmm time to get to bed, i need some extra sleep to make up
for only getting 45min last night (btw, andrew has
progressed from doing hip hop in his sleep like last week,
to ballet. i could tell b/c he was pointing his toes...)
god it annoys the shit out of me but it's so cute i love
him anyways. i love all of them.

xoxo, cedes


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