2003-09-28 06:28:56 (UTC)


yeah. thats for you bitch. fucking. cant she just

And u know what i also remembered today is that one day a
long time ago she told me that we would never get back
together..and yet she wants me to turn around and change
life all around to do exactly what she said would never
happen.....but i dont mean to sound mean or bitter im none
of those things ....i love spending time with her and i
always for some reason or another seem to loose the time
spend and then she comes back ..its back and forth all the
time .. i cant deal with that plus my own shit .. i dont
know what to do ..i cant please everyone or anyone. i cant
have what i want i dont know what i want .. but i like
i have been doing in the past few days and i dont want her
to run back to him out of loneliness ..but i cant stop her
from doing what ever she wants to do .... im upset now im
going to free my mind

I dont remember saying that ever... just goes to show you
how fucked up I can be I guess..

I'm so glad that I'm working both jobs and have a busy
week with school and everything... so I dont think about
that... I know that I'm being really unreasonable about
the whole thing but. well I guess I'm unreasonable.
Because for me, I do what I want.. when I want to do it..
even if in the back of my mind I know it's going to be
regretted later... and so I dont understand most people,
including her, who dont do that.. I didnt want to get
drunk tonight cus I knew I wouldnt be happy... I really
just want to run away. She should come here and we can
run away here and I would be so happy...

we painted our boobies lol im really tired but I dont want
to sleep cus I dont want to leave and when I wake up I
have to leave.

haha last night ashleys roommate was asking me about
my "boyfriend" who had called and i was so drunk and i was
like "hes not my boyfriend he's my girlfriends little
brother." lol how fucked up is that. any way you look at
it... ashley was like " You are delusional." yeah. yes
i am. bitches want me to fuck em, true, true... i love
this song... and i love this keyboard.. i want this
keyboard. and her shower oh my god i've taken like 5
showers since i got here and i plan to take another one in
the morning. i've seriously taken 3 today lol. i love
it. last night i was so drunk and she washed my hair for
me and lol the clearest thing i remember of the whole
night was her like "do you want conditioner??" it was so
sweet. and she kept turning it from hot to cold, and i
was yelling about it cus i was freezing.

i dont want to go home!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i want to live
here in this house in tampa. i love the keyboard and the
shower and just being here with her. even though its the
most scary dirty ghetto fab town in the world and
everyones mean here. i like it.

but yay for rent!! and my new boots!! and when she gets
back she can see me a lot she said cus the dumb bitch is
guna be working a lot. fuck yeah. she should work 4
jobs. or just go away. i .hate. her.

okay bye