Kegman Dan

Essential Reflections by The Dan
2003-09-25 06:20:31 (UTC)

The Drip

The following is based on a true story.
__________
I.

"No...no...no... here's what I'm sayin'" Eddie
slurred. "The thing is, you fuck the Holy Ghost, you get
the Magic Drip."

"Eddie, where the fuck you comin' from?" Jim shot back
with his standard aggressive cynicism.

"Dor fucked the Holy Ghost, cause he's special but we all
are special, and there's water on the floor so that's how
we got to the Magic Drip."

Jim affixed a disappointed grimmace on his face and turned
his head sighing, "Well, what the fuck ever."

"Scott knows what I'm talkin' bout man, come on, Scott,
tell him, tell him where I'm comin' about main, the
flugglin' Magic Drip mang." Eddie fell over the back of
the chair and crunched up, hands behind head, to enjoy
this event in a more relaxed position.

The rest of us sat at the kitchen table; some laughing
hysterically, some tucking their heads in retreat to
ponder what, exactly, was happening. I think Keough went
upstairs, actually. He wanted to watch a DVD,
maybe "Spaceballs" or something.

"Dude, the thing is like..." Eddie began before trailing
off into deep thought about this. Scott was laughing like
a Hyena. Or maybe a chick. "...is like, he..." Eddie
continued as Dor mashed his late night Wendy's burger on
the front of his teeth, convulsing in a confused yet
entertained bout of the tah-hah-hahs. "...he dripped on my
sheets, man! And then he fucked the Holy Ghost and got
the Magic Drip, man... and then, that's why there's water
all over the floor."

"Eddie, that's fucking bleach." Jim stated with stone eyes.

"Exactly." Eddie smiled because he knew he got his point
across this time.

"Dude, what? I wanna hear more about this," I encouraged.

"Yeah, Dor got the Magic Drip and that's how the bleach
got on the floor..."

"Or try we kicked the bottle over and it broke," Jim
interrupted.

"...Haha, yeah," Eddie chuckled, "and that's why he fucked
the Holy Ghost. He got water all over the floor from the
drip."
__________
II.

No smoke filled the room, but the echoes of laughter might
as well have been visible in a similar form. "Dude, like
I said, I have a beginning, a milfle, and an end. You
don't got one, you like come in at the middle
sayin' 'Oh... no... I'm not gotta beginilg mildle and end
end.'"

Once again, Eddie had a point. He guessed.

"Dude... you came down the stairs and have been saying
dumb shit about some Magic Drip and fucking the Holy
Ghost," Dor explained.

"Yeah, exactly," replied Eddie, "and that's where it all
started."

"No," Dor continued, "you just say some weird ass shit and
then we laugh about it, try to figure it out, but then you
keep going."

"Where did you get the Magic Drip from, anyway?" was the
question that Scott somehow attached to his still-tense-
from-laughing-too-hard-and-high vocal attempts.

"From the Magic Bullet Theory, main."

This stirred more laughter in me, so I turned to Scott
because he was in both my classes the next day, and we had
just discussed the Magic Bullet Theory of Media a week or
so before this nonsense.
__________
III.

"Okay, manne, this is where it started. We were..." Eddie
again trailed off in laughter, "...sittin' there givin'
blood main, and the Old Lady was sittin' there and Dor
goes 'So, am I special?'"

Dor nodded in agreement.

"And then she's like 'Yes you are, but everyone is
special.' So Dor goes 'Am I extra special?'" Eddie
couldn't keep his balance at this point, but I must give
him credit for rising from his seat to gesticulate this
story.

He held his hands up as if he were holding a giant
pumpkin, moving them rapidly together and apart by several
inches. The fluctuations were accentuated by his leaning
to and fro.

"And so we're sittin there... I wish I had a tape
recorder, meng."
_____________

END




Ad: