Austin

Ramblings Of a 18 y/o Fag
2003-09-24 19:42:23 (UTC)

Where to even begin...

As it has been nearly seven months since I've written, I
don't suppose anybody will be reading this. Oh well. It
would be nice to say that I've been so busy that it has
been just impossibe to write. However, this isn't the
case. All I've realy been doing is working at a chocolate
shop five days a week, gaining weight, and losing all my
friends. I had been working in a summer theatre project,
I can't can't express how truly relieving it was for it to
be over. The final production was Arabian Nights as a
performance art peice. The less said about that the
better. I thought I had made a handfull of actuall
friends, but this bitch Luci made occk sure that that
wouldn't happen. She told everyone that I was some sort
of delusional psycopath who invents lovers and convinces
himself that they are real people. I'm crazy, but not
that crazy. So now no one calls anymore. Whatever. The
show must go on. I'm planning on going to New York next
month with my new best friend Madison. She realy deserves
her own entry, but that will have to wait for another
time. I will say that she is the person who I have had
the longest relationship with that had absolutely no
arguements, disagreements, or awkward silences. If dhe
were a foot and a half taller, and a male, she would be my
ideal partner. For now, things are on a pretty even keel
(which, for me, means that I'm unhappy, but I'm too lazy
to kill myself).
Madison and I have seen Party MOnster three times
this month, and as of yet have no plans to stop seeing it
every saturday. It's strangely addicting. And besides,
it's not like we have dates to go on. Madison has been
single for a couple of months, and I haven't gotten laid
since late april. We've decided that we eat because we're
undesireable, and we're undesireable because we aet too
much. It's a nast cycle that, frankly, I'm too scared to
stop. Nobody wanted to date me last time I was thin, why
would that want me now. But I guess there is is only one
way to find out.
My days are sooo boring. I don't work till the
afternoon, and everyone is in school. And if one more
person tell me hoe bad an idea it was to drop out of high
school, I'm going to drop kick them.

Anyway, i suppose i'll be writing more often now that i
remembered that i had a journal.

If you read this, leave me feedback so i'll have a reason
to do this




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