Marco Jacksonovic

Crazy What You Could've Had
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2003-09-23 00:00:19 (UTC)

Lately I Have Had The Strangest Feeling...

We all need a confessional, be it a confessional in the
strictest sense of the word or somebody to confide in, to
discuss our lives - lay things out before we can get a
decision, either advised or otherwise. For many years,
I've used this diary to do that and made some terrible
decisions by doing it. I've wasted a lot of time, a lot of
effort and a lot more - not just of myself, but of other
people too. I'm not the nicest person in the world. Who
is? However finally, I feel like my shit is beginning to
fall into order, and I'm all the better for it.

I've made decisions over the weekend - the most important
whilst talking to a complete stranger in a pub (More
impressive than it sounds - I've 'known' the guy for a
long time, and we were chatting for about an hour split
from a big group of....8/9) and I feel happy and confident
about it.

I'm going to do what has been lingering in the distance
both advised and ill-advised for many years, and bite the
bullet in the near future.

I'm going to apply for a PGCE. I want to teach. Secondary
school - there's no way I could teach younger children,
I've tried to do that before, and they're too.....I just
can't do it. A subject? I don't know yet. Ideally it would
be one of my 'lost' subjects. Either History or Geography,
but if I need a level of qualification, it might be
English. I've got great credentials as cover, too, with
all the French/German knowledge I've got - but I suppose
everyone has 3 A-Levels...I don't know, but I know a lot
of people have been telling me I'd be a great teacher to
be covering...enthusiasm for things I don't know quite so
much about - that's not drained yet, and I suppose never
will.

How will it work out? I don't know. I've just got a little
mental image of me sat in a classroom in the dark with a
huge pile of orange books, listening to Stevie Wonder
(because I am now) and marking things that aren't REALLY
bad. No. Don't all come down on me at once, I only decided
to take this career path on Sunday, so I don't know
everything. I know the workload, though - and I know I
could do it.

Only time will tell, I guess.

Just thought I'd let my confessional know.

WILT? Lately - Stevie Wonder


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