Str8 Girl, Interrupted

My Life is a Drama....
2003-09-21 08:01:32 (UTC)

Sooo long........

It's been so long since I've written an entry like this. A
sad, manic entry. Something has trigged these old
feelings. These old feelings of being left behind. I hate
it. It makes so sad and confused and angry. I don't want
to be this way. The jealousy I feel is unnatural.
Something I love is just slipping away. Right through my
fingers. Why??? It can't happen this way, AGAIN. I know,
everything in life is inevitable. EVERYTHING. Why do we
put it off? I don't understand it. God, please, tell
me....what is the purpose of this life? The pain is
unbearable. The hurt in my heart is unbearable. I can't
go through this again. You'd think I'd be numb, but this
is different. Something, I thought was constant is no
longer. It's the last thread of sanity I have. Every
other thread is gone. I pulled them away from me and the
needle doesn't seem to be getting any closer only further
away. How can I do this yet again.........? I don't know
if I have the strength. My strength is what is leaving. My
first and last attempt of happiness is slipping away.
Getting restless with me. Why? I must be doing something
wrong. I can't do it again. It will be my
downfall.....the end.




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