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2003-09-21 00:47:40 (UTC)


Well tonight after watching the BGSU game I decided to just
screw off on the computer instead of doing MUCH needed
work, since my roomate is gone for the weekend and I have
the apartment to myself. I decided to download ICQ because
I remember in my early internet days that was there before
AIM and several of us talked on it. I thought it would be
cool to see if anyone from H.S. was on it. I pulled up a
couple people and it brought back a weird feeling. I felt
like I was going back in time--back to the days at
Philo...whether I can say those were good or bad---I don't
know...but wow am I feeling weird right now. I got a call
last night from someone in high school who I haven't hear
from in about 6 months. I seriously haven't talked to
anyone from high school except maybe once since I've
graduated. I've tried my best to avoid Zanesville--and
when I am there I don't go to the malls or anywhere where
there is a chance I may see someone from high school.
Those days were a mixed bag for me. I guess I realyl
didn't know what I wanted or who I was-and I KNOW I wasn't
comfortable enough to be myself. I hated my senior year--
the only good of that was our English class. I feel so
different now--it's like I want to talk to some people and
see how they're doing and what's going on. But at the same
time I feel like this is my life now and no one will
possibily understand how my life is now or how I am now-if
that makes ANY sense?! Oh well.
This weekend has been uneventful. I'm still SO busy-I
don't know why I do this to myself! But I will be
graduating in May and then I'll be off to graduate school.
I NEVER would have thought I would go to graduate school-I
guess people change. After grad. school I don't know where
I'll be. Mark suggested Santa Fe because he's 100% sure
that I could get into SFO. If I go to Florida St. I'll
probably do something there. Cincinnatti would be CO.
We'll see...just have to wait and see where life takes me!!
Jodie is gone this weekend. She's spending time with her bf
Atonn...or ATTTTTTONNNNN as I like to say it. And I'm
sitting here alone! LOL My relationships have never
worked out! The last one was REALLY interesting. It was
good while it lasted I guess. I think i'll call up Ro,
who sadly I NEVER get to see anymore. I miss her and I
can't believe that it was a year ago that we got so close.
I still feel close..but I knwo I piss her off whenever I
get busy and lose contact--but I just wish she would know
how much I think about our craziness and how it gets me
through the day thinking about all that.