The crazy world of me
2003-09-20 16:25:17 (UTC)

I am so confused these days. I..

I am so confused these days. I have changed so much over
the summer actually I think I have just changed a lot here
recently. I love the person that I have become but I don’t
know it’s all just a lot of change at once I guess.
I don’t know what to think one minute to another with
some people. Like Ricky one minute I am just so in love
with him and the next I still love him but I wonder am I
doing. I am horrible at this long distance shit. I am the
kind of person that wants to be with the person I love and
get to share everything with them and I can’t with him. We
barely even talk and when we do it like he is lecturing
me. I just want to give up on all of this sometimes but my
heart just won’t let me. Ever since he has left I just
haven’t been the same. I have been feeling sick since day
one. He was my other half and now it’s just gone. I use
to hate him being up my ass all the time but I guess its
one of those you don’t realize what you got to its gone
kind of things. It is just so difficult to even have a
conversation with him. I miss so much and I just what to
do. I don’t think I have ever loved anyone as much as I do
I can’t even explain how feel. I just have this pain
inside of me. All night tonight I felt like doing nothing
but cry and I did. I hate to feel that way. I don’t know
what it is. Well, I am going to go I guess.