Stevathediva

Steva's Life
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2003-09-19 06:36:17 (UTC)

Poems

These are a couple of poems that i've written, i'm enjoying
the fact that i've been able to write poetry, and i'm
loving it.!!!!

These are 2 that i wrote in New Hampshire over the 4th of
July, it was an interesting 4th of july....

This one is called "Monologue To a friend in Pain"

"Should i love you, or should i hate you?
Should i stay above you just to look at the
stars in the sky. Should i live the life I'm
Living now or should i end it here and now.
I thought i loved you but now i'm not so sure.
Is my Life coming to an End?
Or is it crashing and Burning.
I give you the world and all i get back
is shit thrown at me.
Do i really desurve this? Should i know?
Becuase i don't!
Should i stay or should i go.
I now know that i shouldn't Trust those
i though i could trust I Trusted you with
my Life and you threw it out the window.
Now, I'm here... Alone as i was before.
Now i look at my self and see i am dieing.
Look at me, I'm dieing... Now i just wish
it would end a little sooner.
Just so i don't have to make you live
with me any Longer. So i don't have to live
with the pain i'm having now.
Look I'm gone, I'm gone from your life,
You pushed to hard and now i'm gone.
Goodbye."
(C) 2003 July 4th Stephen Miller
~~I love you janie~~


This one is called "Monologue to Mother"

Do I care to know, Do I dare know?
Does my life matter to you?
Do I matter to you ... because it really
seems that I don't?
I try and try to prove to you that I do care.
It all just crash's because I tell you one thing
and you just slip it out through the other ear.
I would starve my self to show you how much
I care about you, I would jump out a window to
show how much I care about you... I would Give up
my life if they ever needed to do a transplant to
save your life, I think I would be the only one who would
do that for you ... but yet you don't seem to care.
I just wish I knew a way to make you understand my
feelings.. but you never will.
Does your world revolve around you?
Does anyone else matter to you?
Am I just garbage like you treat everyone
else? Do I stand above friends?
I'm your son, I should matter to you.
But I haven't to you since last year.
You don't put time aside for me.
And now, I've lost my mind and I'm no
longer a person, I'm trash.
I belong in a garbage Can.
So that's where I'm going to stay...
If you need me you know where to find me.

(C) 2003, July 4th, Stephen Miller


These next few poems were written while i was in germany.

My First one is called "To Be Called A Freak"

To be one of a kind,
is to be different then other's,
To be Rejected by many
to move on to bigger and better things
To find a friend is nice to have and keep a friend
But to lose a friend is sad to lose a friend
To sigh, is to die,
Wishing you lived a better life while you were living.
Wishing people treated you more like a person, Rather then
just a freak,
Being teased to being thrown out with the garbage
To Come back and live a better life and treat people like a
normal person.....Unlike a Freak.

(C) 2003, July 4th, Stephen Miller

This next one is called "To have a friend and kill a friend"
This one is going out to one person... as is the next one.

To have a friend
Is to keep a friend
Not to beat a friend in to the ground
Those who hate you are stuped
Those who are mean to you are bitches
To have a friend for so very long is nice to have that
friend, but to have a friend turn they're back on you is so
very mean.
Look what you've done to me?
You have changed me in so many ways
Although, Most of the changes more so for the worst.
Why have you done this to me?
Why?
You have changed me just to much and in ways that i can no
longer change the way i'm living,
I'm dead.
yes, Dead
Goodbye forever.

(C) Stephen Miller 2003

This next one is called "To have someone then to Lose
someone"

Do you think its alright
to throw away a friend
Only becuase you do it
Far to much
You find someone call them a friend
Then Discard them as you please
You have hurt to many people
and yet, you continue to,
You get some sick plesure out of this?
You Lie, Cheet, and even steal, just to get your own way
But when you get your own way, its just not enough
So you keep hurting more and more people
Untill you've lost everyone
Then your alone and have no where to turn
So you take a turn for the worst
And take your own life
And NO ONE'S there to care
Sad isin't It

(C) Stephen Miller 2003


This was written while thinking about 2 of my good friends.

This next one was written for my friend's Jenn S, and for
my friend Jen H.
I love you guys.

Its called "To love someone"

To have a love
To want to have someone to love
To have someone by your side.
To hug the person you love
Is the greatest feeling in the world
To love someone
Is a feeling that i've never had
Tis a feeling i've always wanted
But never got
Still sitting here wanting a love of my very own
Weather it be male or female
Just want to love someone
But don't think i ever will
Untill you come in to my life
I love you so very much with all of my heart

(C) Stephen Miller 2003

This next one was written about a guy that i know who is
the son of the Woman that i care for her townhouse on the
upper west side and her 4 dogs and 2 cats. her son is
pretty :-) but not gay... silly boy.

This one is called "The guy in my dreams"

To know a guy
Wanting him so badly
that you fantisize
of him in your dreams
You want him so badly
That you would do almost
anything to have him by your side
But you know you never will
Only Due to one reasion
He isint real....
He's only a dream....

(C) Stephen Miller 2003


Those are all i have so far, but do check back i'll
probably have more posted sometime soon :-) i like this
writing poetry thing ;-) lol.

Well Have a wonderful day/night whatever :-)

Love you all
-steve


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