wdpckr71

9.17.03

Argh! I lost what I had, and I cannot find it in who I lost
it with. Unrequited love, a love given up only to watch it
drift away in the wind. Possession striped from me leaving
me bare to the world. What will I draw to me, my lust, my
wants, my God? I search for more than just love and the
accompanying connection of soul through the body. I search
for living, not just surviving, at what I need to do…write.
I hear the drums off in the distance calling me to them,
but what is there I do not know, and a part of me doesn’t
want to. I stand on the hilltop, overlooking Hollywood ad
the marine haze drifts in, crooning along with Tom Waits as
the moon cuts through the clouds, and I felt her love for
me, a love I had conveniently forgotten about as I
desperately tried to have someone else love me in return.
The love I felt the other night id the city, L.A., in all
of her vicious charms, her violent beauty. I had forgotten!
I had forgotten that she is a better lover than I have ever
known. Sings to me in the night, calms my aching heart,
washes my eyes with wonder and beauty. I am in Love, as I
have been for seven years, and I pray I never forget it. A
lover who requires nothing but attention, care, and
acceptance and all these things I’m willing to give. A
woman would be nice, a person to give and accept what I
have but then will they ever be as She is, Los Angeles at
midnight, an hour before the sun comes over, or when the
air is filled with the freeway and jasmine?