AnnaNanaNanners

Life (or something like it)
2003-09-16 14:47:33 (UTC)

Tuesday, the second day

Well I went to sleep last night again before 11. I only woke
up once, but i wasn't awake for long.

yesterday, i did call jeff, but to get heath's number to see
how he was doing and i didn't talk to him only about heath.
i don't know, i know we aren't supposed to be "talking" and
i am fine with that, but i am not fine with being able to
hear his voice. i think that is what is going to get to me
more, that i won't be able to hear his voice that one time
in my day. it is soothing and gives me a secruity that
everything is going to be ok. i wish he would call just to
say hey or goodnight, not to talk, just so i can hear his
voice and to still know that he cares and is thinking about
me somewhat. i just wish i could hear his voice, but i am
going to respect his wishes. heath wants us to go out with
him sat. night, but i don't know if jeff will want to. it is
up to him if he comes. i will probably go with heath b/c he
is a friend and i haven't seen him in awhile. i don't think
jeff will want to grow b/c i pushed him away that much and
he is probably going to go longer than a week without
talking to me. i still just wish he would call to say hi or
goodnight, that is what i really looked forward to in a day,
just the sound of his voice. i guess i will just have to
live and look a little depressed for the next couple of
weeks or whenever he decided he wants to talk to me again

To make the day even better, i went home. the stress and
being upset and not knowing what is going on is making me
ill. i am not not talking about a headache, i am talking
about can't eat kind of thing. i tried to call jeff to tell
him that i was at home and if he still wanted to come eat
lunch he could and i would stay in my room and sleep, but
he turned off his phone. and he probably isn't reading any
of this.

will write later, maybe my day will get better.




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