Diary of Stuff (Volume I)
2003-09-16 05:42:24 (UTC)

Malicious intent...

More officemax today, as I purchased more stuff that was
free. But also, a hard drive that wasn't free, but I felt
that the purchase was justified enough.

I was at work last night, and I was at the jewlery section,
and I made a joke about buying some of the cubic zirconia
stuff, to a co-worker, and she said, "Come back tomorrow
and buy some stuff for your wife." I said, "Well, she
knows me. If I came home with this stuff, she'd know that
it was made out of glass." Immediately, she said, "Well,
why don't you buy some of this stuff for your girlfriend,
Cathy. It's her birthday today." I grew flush in the
face, but quickly quipped, "Well, no one told me that it
was her birthday. If I knew ahead of time, I probably
would have..." I half-jokingly said that, but I knew that
it was all talk, and that I had no intention of buying
anything for anyone other than my wife. I've been working
with Cathy for more than two years, and we've always had a
good working relationship, but for the past few months, she
had crossed the line a number of times, getting ribald in
her speak in my presence. She did it on purpose, making
sure that I was hearing her, but I couldn't determine her
motive. Was she angry? Just feeling trapped and had to
let loose? Whatever the reason, she had obviously quit
taking me seriously and was maybe trying to get me to relax
a little... Well, whatever, I started to talk back to her
in her language, since it seemed appropriate... So, our
little working relationship thing had changed into a more
personal friendship thing, to me at least, and I was cool
with it... I enjoyed it, actually, because it got me out
of the nutshell that I had been in for quite a long time.
So, last night, as I trudged in, I saw her and Vicky
sitting, talking to each other. I sat in a chair in their
close vicinity, and started shooting the bull with them.
Then I learned that it was her birthday. I said, "hmmmmm"
internally, and wondered why she was even at work, but then
thought she was always complaining about paying her bills,
so I said to myself, "mmmmmmmm..." And then Ron comes in,
in his usual ebullient self, and proclaims his presence, or
other, and found that it was her birthday. He was ecstatic
over the information, that he had to give her a hug and a
kiss....and then they started doing a little half-step
dance. It was all good and clean and harmless, but then I
looked at my watch, and got agitated at how close it was to
getting to start, and I didn't have any of my equipment I got up and left, as they did their jig, and
walked into the big meeting place to get myself signed in
and equipped...

Later that evening, I happened to talk to Vicky again, and
she asked me a question, and I replied back, and then she
blurted out, "We all think that you're crazy! We think
that you are going to get back at this company and shoot us
all..." I was like, "Huh?! What?!" I could not believe
at her level of thinking, but now it is obvious that she
was still loyal to her company, but I had moved on to being
loyal only to myself, and my school, and not pay any more
attention to our company, even though I was still on their
payroll.... I replied in audible tones, "I am crazy..."
And she winced; she took it seriously... "Crazy fun!" She
relaxed, then, as she started to realize that I was not
taking this job seriously anymore... "As for killing you,
your lives aren't worth THAT much to me..." As soon as I
said it, I couldn't believe that I had let that slip out...