2003-09-11 15:41:39 (UTC)

last year, today, it was windy...

last year, today, it was windy. i mean, it was really
windy. creepy. i was at school, and i remember walking down
broadway, to go to my class on 4th street. i was getting
blown around a little. there was all this garbage flying
around everywhere, it was a steady wind tho, one with
noise, and i thought, everyone,everyone MUST be thinking
the same thing. this wind must be the souls. they are all
flying around today, flying through the city. later on that
day, i read something i wrote at my school's memorial.that
was the first time i ever took part in a school event. lots
of people came up to me afterwards, telling me how much
they liked it. everyone laughed when i read what my mom
said to me that day when i finally got in touch with her,
stayed up calling her all night, not being able to sleep
till i knew everyone was ok, she said "we're awll gonna die
and youre gonna live." i laughed just as hard as the
audience did when i read that.

later on i met my friends. my roomates in italy came, the
ones who lived here anyway, and my friend rita came,
because she is supportive like that, and none of them are
religious and they all said how creepy it is outside, there
has never really been a wind like that and there hasnt been
once sinse. "it;s like all the dead came back today"

later rita left and jessica, amanda, and aaron, all people
i was with the original 9/11, we all went for lunch, and we
all thought it appropriate to walk over to little italy, i
remember sitting outside, we went to la mela, which is a
tourist trap but good family style food nonetheless and
relatively cheap. i wish we could do that today too. but i
havent seen aaron since then, which sucks cause i really
like that kid. amanda i havent even talked to all summer,
and jessica i just saw her last week, maybe ill give her a
call. i should call of them really.
hell if i would ever go down there on one of these
anniversary days, a madhouse first of all and just too sad.
even when i got back i couldnt go down and see. i heard
that when they erected the walkway for people to look down
into the pit that tourists came from all over, taking
pictures and smiling like they were in front of the statue
of liberty. i thought that was so disgusting i wanted to
it was only sometime last year that i walked over there
after work one day. i didnt even want to see for so long. i
avoided the area at all costs, but i went down and looked
over that emptiness, looked at the wall with all the names,
saw aunt dannys, stood there, looking at her name and
talking to her in my heart. i have this vivid childhood
memeory of her, being out to dinner and she put her finger
in my mouth and told me to bite as hard as i could on her
finger, she said 'come on you can do better than that' and
when we left, she gave me the flowers from the table.

today, its another lovely day. perfect sun, and just a
light wind, a warm wind.

im gonna try to be rational, sane and happy today
here we go!