popcorn

things running through my mind.
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2003-09-11 02:41:36 (UTC)

I DONT GET IT!

ya.. lets see me and joe talk.. he tells me... u can call
me wenever u want it doesnt matter and dont be afraid to
call ok... soo i keep that im mind thinkin it wont run out
with in a week but then. I talk to him more and he just
talks to me less and less... everyone is like OO joe likes
u hes the hotts guy at kimball and he likes u carmen adn u
odnt like him are u stupid and i tried to get it through to
then that i dont like himmm..... cuz he doesnt like me and
i waste to much of my life on guys and ppl who dont care
for me soo i dindt wanna bother but i still wanted to b
friends with him. So i try adn talk to him... and he does
seem like he wans to talk one day i asked him if he was mad
or if i was annoyin him or if he didnt wanna talk to me adn
he sed he did.... soo ok.. but then he also sed he wanted
me to go to another one of his soccer games to watch him
play but no... he seemed mad that i went or like y did u go
i told him i went and he was like o really thats cool i sed
good game and he was just like thanks... ok.. he never even
said thanks for goin.. or how do u think i played he didnt
really talk at all...
i just dont understand how one day its call me wne and then
umm ya y are u talkin to me kinda additude.????? uh!

neways for hc me adn les were gunna plan it then it was
reimer and now its brandy planning it .. and we and drivin
and goin to amandas and then to mong. bq for dinner
hopefully... uh this is soo confusin i just want out of all
of it i mean i dont even have a date its gunna b sooooo
stupid!.. i dont wanna go, at first it was like it will
just b a girls thing then most ppl went off adn got dates
and now.. ppl are gettin all mad.. and i kinda just want a
date now but im not cool enough to get asked by ne one..
and ya.. i dont kno enoguh ppl to go to neother schools
hc!..... i swear im soo sick of me! i wanna go die!

ya... also i go to school and wish it was over the whole
day i keep sayin i cant wait till schools over or wen do i
get to go home.. then the end of the day come adn i dont
wanna really go home. I get hoem and wish i was sum where
else but i have no friends taht will call me up and b like
hey just come over and hang out now... or i get all excited
to go home and get online to talk to ppl.. cuz its easier
adn u can talk to alot of ppl online at the same time. Then
ppl dont im me... theres a few i can name... but neways it
just brings down my day... i mean i look forward to
watching no one talk to me. I say on my away message leave
me one or call and no one does its soo stupid.. it slike im
tryin to hurt myself....! then by the end wen its time to
go to bed i feel just terrible... i guess it helps wen u
wanna just o ot sleep cuz i can remember the days wen i was
happy and i just couldnt fall asleep uz my life seemed
better then sleep... but not lately ... not at all.. i just
wanna go to sleep... and have good dreams or sumthing.ha!
lol.... ya nehow.

Today ricky gave me a hug.. :) haha!... then peach kinda
pushed me into mike and told me to give him a suprise
attack hug but i thgouth it was stupid cuz mike just kinda
looked at me like wut was i doin.. then soo i was standin
there and and no one was talkin to me soo i decided to talk
to myself by asyin i dont kno where everyone went for pp
and im gunna get left bhind.... and then kevin was like hi
and sum1 said well mike y dont u talk to her lol... i was
like ok.. i really have to go b4 i think this is way too
stupid and just start laughin.. sooo... ya i left i kinda
felt bad but hey did he ever feell liek talkin to me. i
mean i KNOW FOR A FACT that no one else in the world is
scared to talk to me..... im soo just silly and me u cant b
afraid of me.. and im very ugly soo its not like u have to
impress me. but to get me to like u u kinda have ot look
good. but u kno i cant ever get ne ... if they look bad or
good... soo i should stop talkin now. nehow... ya!.. im
hate goin online and i dont wannaever again.. im gunna try
and stay off line for a while.. and rely on the cells or
talkin to ppl in person its easier to become freinds that
way.....!
--neways its gettin late..
--"sorry im not perfect" good charlette

*if only i could get into the corner of ur head where
things finally match and meet the standards that u set..oh
how i wish i was the treasure that u've been looking for...

You could b sittin right next to me... and seem so close
but in other ways so very fa away.

i wanna b the person that is always on ur mind. that wen u
wake up im the first thing u think,during a test ur
concentrating on me, and when ur sleepin ur dreamin about
me... and i want u to b the same way for me!


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