megan

listen to my silences
2003-09-10 21:25:03 (UTC)

and now for now

i want to feel. i'm tired of being numb. but i know what
i will feel when i let myself do so, so i'm going to
continue to be numb for now. though i start to wonder, is
this a choice, or a consequence?

brandon and i broke up. he did bad things and then left
me. but we're trying to work it out. trying really hard.
people tend to think that relationships don't take work,
that if people belong together then they'll just be
together. that's incorrect, relationships take work.
especially when something like that happens.

i'm tired of being treated like a spider in the corner of
someone's room. they're afraid to face it because they're
scared of it, even though it's mostly harmless, so they
just pretend it's not there.

*sigh*

i miss how my eyes used to smile.

i'm so tired.

work is finally picking up. i'm learning new areas, so
that means pay raise. woo hoo! one good thing going on.
today there was a big fiasco with some people trying to
steal stuff. a lot of it was out of the jewelry
department. then we found out that at the store over on
dixie highway someone had cut the cables on all the jewelry
spinners and they were trying to take one out the door.
nutso.

my insurance dropped me. i'm insured until the twentieth.
joy. i overdrew on my account. well, actually aol
overdrew on my account. but it's still my fault. so,
yeah. lovely. so on tuesday i have to go down to
evansville, pay them what i owe them, and then close my
account. blah.

final thought: why only believe in possible dreams?