An inconcluded life
is a month the limit?
6 hours the first night...
An average of 3 hours every night after the first one on
Moments, ideas, plans, laughs, music, happines, tears,
frustrations, and so many other feelings that I cannot
name here. That is what we shared.
But I fell I'm in a crossroad. I dunno what to do!!! My
feelings of insecurity attack me and my mind and heart
both betray me.
The search is over... Search for what? I've heard that
you need not search, you must wait patiently.
"If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it."
I've read this quote over and over and can't really seem
to get it. He asked me for patience and understanding and
I just don't have it. I thought I would be able to, but I
was not. The story repeats itself. The same way it
happened with Frank. No matter how much I try, I become
impatient and I feel I'm loosing him. I need strength to
not call. I want him to need me. I want him to feel that
I'm vanishing. I need to know how much he cares... if he
actually does care.
Where can I find patience? I don't know who to beg for
answers. Usually answers lie within us, but this time, no
matter how hard and how minusciously I look, I can't seem
to find any of the answers I need.
Why 6 months? What difference does it make between now
and six months? I become desperate as time goes by. I
feel we're distantiating and I don't want that. I don't
want to loose him!
Not so long ago I made a list. A list of the guy of my
dreams. The qualities and characteristics I am looking
for in a man. Here's the list. Those followed by an
asterisk are the qualities he posesses.
- Funny. He should make me laugh like there's no end! **
- Educated. He should have at least a bachellor's **
- Play a musical instrument. Piano and guitar! guitar!**
- Taller than I. 6.3