munkyweasel

Radical Belligerence
2003-09-10 02:09:32 (UTC)

As I felt the glass shattering beneath my feet

Tuesday, 9 September, 2003

I woke up this morning, ate a donut, put on mosquito
repellent (really helped,) went to bus. Got to school,
Ashley's friend's friend had thrown up on Ashley's friend's
backpack. Ahahah.

I was telling myself to "smile, it's a good day". I saw
Samantha, waved at her. She didn't wave at me. She probably
doesn't want her cool sophomore friends seeing loser
freshman (even among his fellow freshmen) Nick.O. Well,
whatever reason, it was cool with me. But... then I started
saying "don't smile, it's not a good day". By the time I
got to Richelle, I was too fucked up to say hi, and it was
a good turn that I did not.

1st hour. Ben broke his arm, he had a cast. He weighs 230,
that's more than my dad. And Paul weighs 200! WTF! Evan had
Master of Puppets, it's cool. And he was talking about
David, I was beginning to think that I was the only one who
didn't like that kid.

We did a lab on enzymes, it didn't really work tho. I
worked with Lauren and Iann and then Ben and those 2 girls
in the back row joined us.

2nd hour, learned some stuff. I told Iqbal about Asian
Pride song, he said it was called "got rice".

Walking to 3rd, guess who popped out of her class to get a
drink? I was like "whoa" and she was like "don't say hi to
me!" (that ain't nice!) and then Jessica and Chase totally
misconstrued every word I said and I totally garbled every
word that went from my brain to my mouth. Not like it makes
any difference whatsoever, she hates me already anyway.

3rd hour, took notes on capitalism. Learned more crap about
it. w0w. (haven't said that in a while).

Lunch. I went through the line, for the hell of it. Yeah
Richelle, totally hates me. So I was just like. Not looking
her way until I was back at the table and safe haven. I ate
a chicken sandwich, it was good. And I got a Fruitworks, it
was GREAT. Jessica is like... I don't even know. Maybe I
should have picked her. Maybe not...

4th hour, Health. Best Sarah was not there. We watched a
video on tobacco. You know, I wasn't sure how true the
government-sponsored anti-marijuana adz were, but now that
I think about it... sucking burnt organic material into
your lungs can't be good for you, whatever it is.

5th hour, we talked a lot about journal entries and stuff.
It was kind of engaging, but really nothing that has a lot
of controversy surrounding it; just things that people can
add thoughts to.

Walking to 6th, I didn't wait the 5 seconds intentionally.
I was unprepared to leave. So I was actually behind
Richelle and her friend. Pahhh. She looked back and saw me
putting my pen in my pocket, I wasn't looking directly at
her but I think she gave a look of disgust. The whole way
there I was behind her, and it hurt. On the wall I saw her
self-portrait from art. She gave herself a very flattering
umm... demeanor? If I had gotten art that period instead of
boring fuckin... computers, I would be in her class. But
it's probably like advanced or something cuz they don't
draw easy shit. They draw crap that I can't draw. Yeah
whatever. That thought came up when Samantha asked me if
comp apps was my only elective. Yup.

That class was fucked.

Walking to 7th, spanish. I thought about going the other
way, through the hall instead of outside. But... lo and
behold, somefuckinghow I was behind her again. I don't
think she knew it this time tho. I wanted her to see me say
hi to Jessica, to prove that I have friends and am not a
TOTAL loser. But, she stayed in front of me and I went in
before Jessica came down the stairs. I didn't see what
class she went into, not like it matters.

ANYWAYS... we had a test on ser, no one gets it. At lunch
zee had been yelling at me cuz I was trying to say "he
likes" and she was saying that it was formal and I didn't
get it and then we had to go.

Fuck it. Dismissal, I walked behind Joe and Matt, they were
walking slow. Which was I guess good for me cuz seeing her
and all that... but damn, I feel like no one tells me
anything. I don't know what the fuck was wrong with Carla,
maybe she's going out with Iqbal, what who? no one told me
anything. I didn't see Richelle, but I am betting she saw
me and was not pleased.

Bus. I said I am homosexual. Yeah.

Home. What I did is not important. I wanna get the Metal
Steve messenger bag.

I talked only to Matt and to Lynn. Watched taildaters with
matt, and watched all this crap on VH1 Classic Tuesday
2play.

I was just talking to Katie, she is insensitive towards my
emotions.

IF YOU WANT ME TO BE HAPPY, MAKE ME HAPPY. I am trying to
do the same for you...

No clue what else to say, goodnight.




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