Micro

My life is peachy.....I swear
2003-09-10 00:07:30 (UTC)

love

okay, just have to vent about things. you cant move on
witht he future until you forgive your past.

we all look at love in a different perspective. and of
course there are different types of love.
there is puppy love, there is husband/wife love, there is
love for family, there is boyfriend/girldfriend love,
there is friend love and more and the list continues. i
understand all the types of love, i have been with it all
my life. okay, i havn't been married, but i see the love
with my parents. but i have experienced all these types
of love throughout my short life span. i have lost love
with losing certain friends and gaining new love with
making new friends. but there is one love that was always
there. it was there before i was born before i was even a
thought. and that is the love of God. i had it. i had a
strong faith as a child when i was younger. i went to a
catholic school and got taught all about the bible and
stuff. but i never took it in. yeah, okay, there is a
God and he is watching over us. it became a chore for me
when younger when praying the rosary or just praying. i
never had a choice. i had to do it. i was only told
certain prayers and so that is what i thought there only
was. i lead retreats for the 7th and 8th graders and was
a speaker and every one i have been to. i ever spoke at a
womens retreat at my church. well everytime i acted like
i had faith of a child. i acted like my faith was
awesome. that it was strong, but i was two-faced. i
could talk about God but never lived it. i would show my
church friends about God but never mentioned it to
people. i looked at the word catholic and my relgion and
thought of it as a chore. a punishment on me for
something i did. at the womens retreat, i remember
parents asking me about my time at holy family, b/c all
their kids still went there. i was so hateful towards
that school b/c i was not popular b/c we were not rich.
and i wasn't a whore, pardon me for that. but i am
telling these moms that i learned nothing at holy family.
i told them that. wow, probably gave them something to
think about. but i went through high school saying i was
christian but never meaning it. had relationships that
meant nothing b/c God was not in any of them. even had a
boyfriend make me doubt my faith and believing in HIM.
well i joined a drama ministry group. perfomed plays
about christ and never putting it to heart. senioryear/
freshman of college, i lost two best friends, well a
friend and a cousin, but both best friends. i got mad at
God, as everyone does at least once in their life. both
times my b/f were not there for me. one said for me to
hurry up and get over it so he can start getting
attention, the other one dumped me on the day of the
funeral. go them but it doesn't matter. they were not
meant for me. but now i have found God, and i mean the
true God. i take to heart what our plays our about, i
found a christian boyfriend, WOW go me. my faith has
turned around. i feel like i should get baptised again
jsut to tell myself i have been reborn, but yeah, thats a
little much. i know. but my friends are growing in faith
with me and its awesome. but i guess why this entry
sparked was b/c of my last one. christians forgive
people. if i don't forgive someone i go to hell. its
something with us catholics, don't know how it is in other
religions. but having bible study is awesome. and this
past one we had to write a forgiveness letter. it is
toward my bro, and if you want more info, just email me.
but it is so hard to forgive someone who won't give you
the respect back. it is. but i forgive him, and i still
have a little hate towards HF and past people., but i want
to forgive all those people and tell them that i love
them. i want to move on in life and not be tied down by
my past. but yeah. okay, thoughts have ceased. write
later

God bless,
Micro




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