Cath

my so called life
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Ezoic
2003-09-09 16:34:35 (UTC)

The mile

This one is sort of dedicated to Angel. You inspired me.

Do you guys remember Tom? The guy who I kind of had a thing
with three years ago, even tho he had a girfriend? I didn't
know what to think and feel, and he was always very pushy
when he was drunk. Well, there was a lot of emotions and
stuff involved, and all the three involved got hurt (even
tho his girlfriend never knew about me). After a while I
realized that I had to get over him, and stopped flirting
back so much and tried just being friends. We sort of lost
contact and I fell in love with Ben. Well, almost a year
ago I learnt that Tom was upset with me, and I wrote him an
e.mail and asked why. I got a long reply back, and it's
maybe one of the sweetes and most hones letters I have ever
received (leaving Ben out of this). He wrote that he really
had feelings for me three years ago, but he was really
confused since he was in a relationship that wasn't going
very well. At the time his girlfriend lost her father to
cancer, so he could never leave her at that point (and
actually they're still together). He also wrote that he was
sorry that he hurt me, but he didn't regret getting
involved with me (I quote : "I know I shouldn't have given
in , but I figured that I'd rather kiss you and get burned,
than not get to kiss you at all. Which I still don't
regret.") At the end of the e.mail he wrote that knew
things could never go back to normal between us (he was
always pretending that we were just friends, but we both
knew better and I didn't handle pretending to just be
friends very well), and I was probably better off without
him in my life. No matter what I had given him an
incredible memory and he would never forget me. What you
could read between the lines was that he wasn't totally
over me, but knew he'd had his chance.He finished with this
quote :

The Mile:
People come into our lives and walk with us a mile,
and then because of circumstance they only stay a while.
They serve a need within the days that move so quickly by,
and then are gone beyond our reach, we often wonder why.
God only knows the reason that we meet and share a smile,
why people come into our lives and walk with us a mile.


I think it was really sweet and sad. I didn't want us to
completely lose contact,so I wrote him back and for the
first time I was honest and told him that I had feelings
for him back then and was really confused about what he was
feeling. I wrote that things could never be the way the
were, and I didn't want them to be either, but I hoped that
we could stay in touch once in a while, cause he can always
make me smile. He replied like the second he got the e.mail
and after some time he started calling me in the weekends
again, and things were pretty much back to square one. He
wasn't over me, but this time I was over him. So things got
weird between us, and I haven't talked to him for over six
months.

I think it's fascinating how people can mean so much to us
for a while.. He was like all my world for almost a year at
high school, and now he's not even in my life anymore.
It is really true;
God only knows the reason that we meet and share a smile,
why people come into our lives and walk with us a mile.


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