Jessi Lynn

It's My Life
2003-09-08 04:48:22 (UTC)

Wallowing In Self Pity

Today was the wake and it was very upsetting...i dunno why
at first i was fine but it was the first time i ever
actaully went up and viewed a dead body..i felt so abd for
his grandmother she was like holding his hand and grabbing
his arm and stuff and thats what made me upset really..his
dad looked suprised at first to see us there but i think he
ws happy that we went..i didnt really kno how to cheer
billy up..i hate seeing people upset and he didnt act upset
but i could tell in the distant look in his face...after
that we went out to lunch with marissa and then i dropped a
poster off for Kate....i dunno out of everyone from home
Kate is the onlee person that really WANTS to talk to
me..or well thats how I feel...so then we took the trip
back to ESU which backwards is USE..haha anyway i was quite
upset when i got bak..i think it was pent up sadness from
the wake and also the fact that everytime i go home i have
so much fun cuz i actually hang out with my friends but
when i get here i have no one..like the girls in my sisters
hall went to a party on saturday and they got on "the list"
so now i guess we cant go to parties with them nemore cuz
were not on it...i hate this it sux and i makes me so
upset...maybe i should take Mr. Wilsons advice and transfer
to MSU and work at Applegates...i also hate that i write in
this diary and none of my friends care..no one ever reads
it so its kinda like im talkin to myself..whatever


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