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2003-09-05 22:53:47 (UTC)

Aaah... What?

So I've been working fast food and I've made the most of
it. Actually it's kinda fun now that I can hear everyone
since I don't have any water in my ear anymore. Tired
though. It was my 3rd day today. I'm getting the hang of
it, except I do keep forgetting what comes with what. I
mean, I don't know what gyro sauce is, I never tried it. I
don't want to. Therefore the meat meals confuse me. The
salads too. I keep forgetting about the bread and butter,
also the knife. That guy Alex keeps trying to strike up a
conversation with me. Bleh.

I'll keep to it. I do have another dilema though. I read my
runes yesterday. I asked should I keep with acting since I
recently have been put out of the scene and I don't know if
I can get back on. So basically my life calls for a period
of rebirth. For rebirth there must first be a death. I'm
scared of that part. I do want to go through it, because
the results will bring me to a plce better then where I am
now. But in order for me to accomplish that I need to kill
myself. I don't even know how to go about this. I was
thinking I should depress the hell out of myself, or maybe
I should hang out with my friends, work and study, live my
life the way I want to until it exhausts me. I was thinking
of going with the first one, but now that I think of it,
the second one sounds more fun, and hence better. I mean, I
can still kill myself through exhaustion. But will I get
everything I need out of it. I mean, it's hard to choose
the best way. If I stop hanging with my friends I might
give rebirth to myself, but I might be a very anti social
person then. On the other hand, if I do hang with them,
maybe my education, passions and aspirations will suffer.
I'm thinking I should just go with the second one. DTC
should strike again though. I think hanging with Chris has
inspired me to use my full potential more.

I was gonna go to sleep, I was tired, but now I'm more
hungry. Pherhaps I should hang, I haven't done that in a
while, but no cash. Tomorrow I might have some dough
although I don't wanna risk it. Tomorrow could be really
fun. Hopefully they won't need me at work so I can go
bowling and stuff. So blah blah blah, and Bye...