turned at twenty,
she'll break into bits of star
and throw herself against the sky.
i was reading some nicole blackman. and i freaked out.
what if i really dont live to 20? what if i have been
right all this time and i only have less than 2 months to
live? what if i die knowing that i didnt do the right
things and i wasnt everything i can be?
what if i write NINE entries today instead of EIGHT. jesus
my developmental psych teacher was telling us about this 6
year old boy at the labor day bbq he was at. he said
something to the boy about girls having cooties. and the
boy - 6 years old - said "yeah they have cooties and
cooters." thats just great.
anyway i love this girl. i want all her books.
Everyone knows you are far too far too transparent
to hide away such a wanting.
Now whom is needed,
and whom is needful?
You are older than I, but you hand your small self over
a bird nestling into my hand.
" I am broken, I am broken "
you say as I stroke you to sleep.
No, I won't tell them.
No, I won't share you.
I am killing myself trying not to care.
You are younger than your years and I am older than mine.
Some midnight I will meet you in the midst
and cross your palm with my mouth.
I have done my best to steer you away
now I swim in blame and sleep in fear
When we go public, my china bird
I'l let you tell the story.
When you hurt me
I won't let it show.