2003-09-02 19:38:26 (UTC)

i want to strangle the stars for all they promised me

i want to be there when you learn the cost of desire
i want you to understand that my malevolence is just a way
to win.
i want matches in case i have to suddenly burn.
i want to watch you lose control.
i want to watch you lose.
i want to know exactly what its going to take.
i want your touches to scar me, so i'll know where you've
i want to crush the thing you love, just so you know i can.
i want to be there when your hot black rage rips wide open.

i want you to write your life story and leave me out of it.

i want some soft drugs, some soft soft drugs.
i want you to know i know.
i want you to know the wounds are self-inflicted.
i want to hurt myself before you do, because i do it better.
i want to be somewhere beautiful when i do.
i want to stop destroying you, but i cant.
and i want and i want and i want and i will always be hungry

well we're fading quickly now. because as we all know, i
put forth about 96% of the effort of this relationship and
well...4% just doesnt last long.

"Let's just put an end to our little facade, shall we?"

well. yes i suppose we should. without trust there is no
love. and i think we've exhausted the sheer possibility of
trust between us.

i have a really good interview thursday im excited about..
and bright house is tomorrow. not sure about that. i
mean. $7/hr in maitland? maybe for awhile. just in case.

theres a few places i have to fax to, also. and i still
have cleaning. and i think i'll write my paper and get
everything done early so that i can either take a nice nap
or go to the bookstore for a while. i havent had any time
like that to myself in a while. and i definetely need to
do some thinking.