psychomagnet

hmm.

i think im going to go.

i dont like decisions that take me a long time to make.
yesterday i was like "i'll just go see her and take her
flowers or something and cheer her up." and it was fun and
spontaneous and now I feel a little wary because of the big
issue it was turned into by him and my mom.

I went to church today. i havent gone since this one time
when i was little like 7 or 8. it was weird. i lit a
candle and made a prayer, then i kneeled down and repeated
all these prayers after them and then i talked to god and
then i took some holy water to bless myself and to bless my
house. and matt's mom bought me a rosary and a little
prayer book. i was so excited. its pretty and purple.
the rosary is. she kissed me yesterday. lol it was
funny. i dont think she's ever touched me before. guess
she likes me now. anyway i think i will go again sometime.
but i didnt tell my mom. i think she would be upset that i
went with them. and to a catholic church. but i figure i
dont know anything about it anyway so any church is better
than none. i liked it.

'Adrienne Says She's Looking For....

...someone to hide and some room to forget.
she missed the last train out of love
and into regret.
and she settled for second best
and though i love her just the same,
i know she'll never be as tame
...as i know she wants to be."

Hmm. I wish I could write. I cant. I cant even really
paint or draw but I do that anyway. Matt makes fun of
them. He's really not nice to me. I was talking to
Caroline on the phone and my mom came in and she was
like "She puts you in a much better mood than her brother
does."

I think I'm going to go. I wanted to go over there and
help her clean (LOL well I wanted to go over there) but I
need to leave before dark. So I think I'm guna get ready
to go.