It smells like poop over here
white girl living in the city...
...in a big apartment house, she's living with her
boyfriend now." no particular reason for that quote, im
watching 13 ghosts instead of listening to music, and
that's all i could think of. "the girl next door" by
screeching weesal, not that the blink version was bad, but
this is the original.
i was supposed to go see lauren tonight, but i told
her i wasn't feeling well, which is sorta of true, i don't
feel "normal", or just as i would every other day. i feel
kind mopey. i dont' think that's a word. im just not sure
about our relationship. she's so selfish sometimes. im not
even sure why she's still going out with me. she "loves"
me and whatnot, im not sure i believe that at all. i think
the only reason she's keeps me around is for her own self-
confidence and free food. she doesn't have low self
esteem, b/c people that have low self esteem don't talk
about it. but anyway, who wouldn't want to have someone
around to tell them they're great, they're beautiful, sexy
and always buys them food.
me love her? that's another question. two fucking weeks
ago im all lovy dovy n shit being like "oh i lover her so
much" i probably said that shit after sex. why can't i
just make up my fucking mind? am i in love, am i not? what
the fuck?" do i fall in love with every other girl i know?
god damn im pathetic. i need to give up on this love shit.
oh sure, ill say it again about some other girl(s),
hopefully about lauren...she's is pretty great...except
for the whole selfishness. she's one of those people that
don't need to be asked how they are, she might not tell me
everything, most of the time she just mopes till i ask
her, but for the most part, she'll just tell you
everything. she'll just blabber on and on about her day,
what was good (not very much) what was bad ( a lot of
bullshit). she's such a pesimist. i dont' think i spelled
that right. anyway, she just expects me to talk too, but i
like to be modest, and wait to be asked, but she never
does. even jsut little shit, like "how was your day?". i
dunno, i just don't know. now that i've gotten all of this
info outta me, i love her again. god dammit what the fuck.
im gonna watch From Hell, look at some porn and pass out.
maybe ill go see lauren, tomorrow......i kind of want to
now....ill keep it posted. PEACE