huhwhatnow82

MY LIFE
2003-08-30 02:30:21 (UTC)

What's wrong with me

I don't understand this... I try to do the best I can and
be the best boyfriend I can be ...but am I trying to much?
I dont understand..is it just people being jealous of
us?... Lately I have been spending a lot of time with
John... Which makes me happy and feel good inside... I
have so many stressfull things going on in my life and
seeing him just would releave some stress and make me
happy...but lately I been feeling unwanted not by john but
by others.. I think its because I been taking time away
from them that they would spend with him... But Arnt I
suppose to be his boyfriend?... I try and want to spend as
much time with him as I can... heck I wish I could spend
all my time with him... but it seems and feels like I am
unwanted which upsets me... I don't know what to do.. I
mean John always wants me to stay with him at night and
doesnt want me to go and I dont want to leave him ...but
the thing is which is very difficult his roomate I feel
gets jealous of me.. but I just want to do what a
boyfriend does.. but I guess I can't be an ordinary
boyfriend.. I'm just so lost... I'm missing him right
now... I called him twice and left two messages.. he's
usually home at this time.. but no answer...It just seems
like people are trying to break us apart because of there
being jealous... It's so not fair...I mean I live almost
an hour from John and try to see him as much as I can..
but it seems like all I do for him doesnt matter... I wish
he was with me right now because I'm about to cry




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