humming bird

my F***ed up head
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2003-08-29 17:13:52 (UTC)

yeah well i was right in..

yeah well i was right in everything that i said in my last
entry. every part of that is true about mark. but the thing
is now we r back together. he texted me out of no where and
told me he missed me. we had a two day long fight and then
made up and then he lived with me for a week and we sarted
going back out and its been almost a month and yeah
everything isnt perfect nbut we're working on it, we're
trying. he said he really doesnt want to fuck this up and
everything he says to me about how much he cares about me
and everythiong seems to be sincere but there is still a
little part of me that is so worried that he's gonna hurt
me. and it's the same way that he thinx about me and that
is our probelm. we dont trust eachother becuz we know that
we're both capable of hurting people in the worst way. but
both of us also know that we would never hurt eachother,
the thing is the other one doesnt know that. it was so
weird. the night that me and him got back togeher i was
sooooooo fucked up i was completely wasted and he knew it
and he wanted to talk about what me and him were gonna be
and what was going on with us. and i told him i wanted to
get back together and he was like well i dont, just kidding
i do to. and it was so weird i needed to like double check
in the morning and make sure that it was true that that had
actually happened it was kinda fucked up but yeah and i
think everyone is trusting him a little bit more this time
around and i bought him a guitar for his birthday and he
loved it and yeah i mean we r doing pretty good. my mom
threw him like a whole lil birthday thing and i dunno it
was gay but cute. we're just too cautious. we both know
what the other is capable of. the first time around we were
new to eachother. he said he loved me, he tells me all the
time and he is there when i need someone to be there. and i
am there for him more than anyone has ever been i think. i
mean yeah aezre and manny and nick and the other nick have
done alot for him but i get to add myself to that list, i'm
the only girl on that list. its cool, but im gonna go . bye


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