got home today. early this morning. woke up at 5am to watch
the sunrise on the boat. sunrise from the boat. watch it
pop up between the buildings of the skyline that are so
very empty without the twin towers. the evening before, in
the middle of the atlantic, i stood on the deck of the boat
and watched the sun set. i hadnt done that the whole trip,
because that was when we were always eating dinnner. i was
with a bunch of people that didnt care about sunsets. not
really my kinda crowd, ya know? but this time, i made sure
i planted myself up there and didnt move. and i dont think
id ever really seen anything like that, the ocean sucking
up the sun, drooling some out. spitting it across its
waves. it dropped down into the water so quickly and my
mind twisted around thousands of years of thoughts of what
to interpret something like this as: unobstructed sunset on
the ocean horizon. where did they think the sun was going?
i would think it went right into the ocean, was waterproof,
cooled down under there for the morning, and as it rose in
the sky, got hotter, closer to the ocean , got cooler....
i came back, and missed my friends. tonight i hung out with
mike, maya, rita, jerry... and it was so nice to be in a
group of people where i could say anything i damn well
pleased.......... its horrible how much you have to
censor to the outside world.....
it was nice being with iris... that was fine... it was just
the rest of them... they were entertaining, funny, nice
people, just not my cup of tea.... and it was just nice
being with people tonight i could be loud, drunk, and
vulgar with .
its alot for me, to be able to say what i think. i am so
afraid with strangers, that they w il think me mad.
now, i sleep