Guava

kiss me, kill me, hold me, thrill me
Ad 2:
2003-08-25 05:53:48 (UTC)

Hello

I know it's been a long time again. This summer has been a busy one. I
am writing tonight because I have a lot on my mind again. Mostly about
Dave and his girl. Elissa is SO not who I would like to see him with. He
is moving into a new place with her very soon.

I was talking about that with my Mother and expressed my dislike for
Elissa. I then had to try to explain to my Mother why I don't like her
without calling her a slut or trailor trash. Both of which would describe
her nicely if you want me to be honest.

John and I went out with some friends of ours for dinner tonight. One of
them asked me how Dave is doing since he and I used to talk a lot. I
mentioned that I have not talked to him much recently and have no idea
how he is doing. He hasn't even told me he is moving...his MSN name
says he is though.

So, she asked me if I liked Elissa or not. I quickly said NO and so she
asked why. I was able to tell her that I don't think highly of Elissa. I did
even mention that she was a little skanky or something. I don't recall
what I said.

So anyway, that got me thinking in the car when John was driving me
home. I was thinking about reasons I don't like Elissa. The biggest one I
could come up with is that he simply doesn't ever talk about her. When I
ask about her he says she is doing fine. He does not go into any detail
at all though. Also he never initiates talking about her. At least not
anymore. Once he stopped having major things to bitch about dealing
with her...then he totally stopped mentioning her at all.

It's like I totally have to bring her up in order to hear anything at all
about her. If I didn't know better I could assume they were not together
anymore.

He and I haven't talked much this summer, but I would figure he would
mentioin her sometime.

I was realizing in the car that he talked constantly about the last two
girls he dated. One he dated for like a week and the other for about a
month. When he dated them he talked about them all the time. I heard
all the good and bad stuff about both of them. I just don't know why he
never talks about Elissa.

Maybe I ought to ask him if I've given him the impression that I don't like
hearing about her. If he thinks that then I need to set him straight. I
want to hear about her so I can hear how much he likes her.

I think I need to e-mail Cal and ask her if she has heard anything
recently from Dave about Elissa. I hope she has heard something...

Cal just recently went out of town though.

I am hoping that I will be able to sleep tonight. I can't get this whole
thing out of my head. It's totally bugging me. When I was thinking
about it earlier I had a dull ache in my heart. I just want to make sure
that Dave is happy and I don't see that he is.

He and I are planning a time that we can get together before I go back to
school. I made sure to tell John that it was going to happen and that he
is invited. Last time I forgot to invite him, but he was busy anyway.

I am really hoping that either Dave comes alone and we can hash out
some issues Cal and I have about Elissa. Or that Elissa comes and I can
have a second chance to form an honest opinion about her. One
meeting really isn't enough to make a good opinion of her. So far it has
only made me like her less.

I would go so far as to say I can't stand her being with Dave. He can do
so much better! I just wish he could see that. I'm sure if anyone said
anything he would just get pissed off and not talk to them for a long
time. He would not even consider what they had to say. Probably not
even me.

There was a time when I would have thought he would listen to what I
had to say and not get pissed at me, but I don't know about now. I have
a feeling I'm just another friend these days.

We haven't set a date to ge together, but I did tell him I wanted to see
friends before going back to school. He got excited and said he wanted
to see me. That made me feel good. It's been a long time since he
made me feel good.

I really miss talking with him. We used to talk a lot, but now I can't even
recall when the last time was. It might have been 5 days ago, but I'm
not sure.

Hopefully we can talk tomorrow after I'm home from work. I can ask him
then if he thinks I don't want to hear about Elissa. It really bugs me that
he doesn't talk about her.

I was mentioning to him the other day that Cal said she would drink
sometime after school starts this fall. She gets some wierd side effects
from drinking that are really not good, but she still enjoys it now and
then. He said he would be sure to come over when she does drink. I'm
hoping I can make it a weekend that John stays home so Cal and I can
get Dave to do a little talking with us.

I would love to tell him that if things weren't amazing with John I would
ask him to marry me in a heartbeat. Dave would certainly be my second
choice if I were pressured to name one.

It is getting late and I have to work tomorrow. I am very sorry to all my
friends that I have not talked to in forever. Also that I haven't read
anyones Diary entries in forever either. I owe ya'll bigtime for bothering
to read my long ass entry.

Please send feed back and or let me know you're alive. I miss you
all...almost as much as I miss Dave. I guess that boy will always do
strange things to me.

Maybe he'll star in one of my dreams...

If I haven't ever mentioned him and a kitchen table before then ask me
about it. It was an amazing dream!


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