krazygirl

Wo ist Amanda?
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2003-08-21 23:07:53 (UTC)

Dear Nobody,

Where did my love go? I know it left me because I can
vividly remember it's warm presence. I say," I love you",
yet, I do not feel it anymore...I'm not capable! It's more
of a "sibling love". Why does my heart yearn only for
what is forbidden to me? Or, only for what I have lost?
The present too often reflects the past!!! The very same
past I run from! Is it possible to have a "regretful past",
when the future is 10 times longer? Should I more fear
the regrets to come, or the mistakes on my back?!
Love seems to be the only aspect of my life that is
unfixable. Everything else my brain can somehow
rebuild, with enough motivation. I wrote a poem to
myself:
YOU

you are a being
yet you are so much less
your purpose on earth is lost
your heart is shattered
your mind is a mess
you shape yourself with your past

your nights are lonely
your days so empty
your dependance on friends is pathetic
you're filled with hatred
your morals diminished
true talent is something you lack

you once had love
your ignorance lost it
you'll forever feel incomplete
you regret your past
you fear the future
you yearn for eternal sleep

you're familiar with stress
you're no stranger to pain
your faith in peace has been slashed
your beauty is artificial
your confidence a joke
you jump to conclusions too fast

you say i know nothing
and i say you're wrong
yes, i'm saying you'll never be free
i know all these things
and i could tell you much more
because you see, my friend, you are me

-Amanda Nyberg


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