strings attached

here
2003-08-21 12:55:35 (UTC)

exhibit order

Maybe when what痴 right here is the same as how I act and
what I say, I値l be happy with myself. Consistency is not
a bad thing, and consistently inconsistent can稚 really be
an oxymoron.
I think of a random number generator that really isn稚
random at all when you consider how the numbers it
produces are selected.
Back in World War II, they had machines that would put
messages in code. Basically, they consisted of a wheel
that would spin with 3 or 4 sets of letters on them. The
certain configuration of letters acted as a combination
and suddenly, what looked random was not.
Natural Selection even exhibits some order which
technically no matter how hard you fight it, could have
been initiated by some higher being.
It痴 because of these things I think I have purpose,
dishonest as I am with myself. Logic prevails.
I pretend I知 in touch with myself, who will not sleep,
whose body is worn, neglected and left trailing behind my
subconscious. If Freud had a jackhammer and could nag his
way into my mind, would he find the same 18th century
dishonesty, the same silliness craving a diognosis. he'd
find me lying to myself and to him.




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