Deception's Disciple

Book of Lies
2003-08-21 06:29:00 (UTC)

Crossroad

It has almost been 2 weeks now since Jay left and since I
started talking with Pete, and the more I continue talking
with him, the more I enjoy my time with him. Not only his
time, but also him. I try and try to keep my distance and
conivnce myself that he isn't interested in me, but I keep
getting these feelings and parts of me continue to turn
every little thing he does for me into a big deal. It seems
to be a running thing with me first Ali, then Richard, and
Jay, now Pete. I have to admit tho, he isn't helping his
case. He's not trying to stay away from me or keep me from
getting the wrong idea. On Saturday, we spent most of the
evening together, had a snack together, and then I went to
his temp. home. I sat in his room and made myself pretty
comfortably while he showered. I didn't touch anything. But
that night I spent with whole evening with him, and at one
point during the evening I think we shared a momment. When
we were sitting very comfortably on his bed watching a
movie clip on the computer. We were laughing, and close,
and at one point it was like I was thinking of doing what
he had just simutaneously thought of... Just one touch,
just to see what it would be like. But, in the next breath
that momment was gone.

I don't know why he is tortuing me. There are so many
things I wish i understood that would make my decision to
care about him more sensible:




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