Timothy

Jack's Twisted Kingdom
2003-08-20 17:11:10 (UTC)

the drama queen & her slave

so, ms. "i'm pretending to be an aristocrat"
has taken an issue with not only my diary,
but also my journal.

whats really funny, was that she thinks
that anyone who read either, actually cares.

now, i may be acting like a 2 year old on
this, but it really pisses me off, when i
remove myself from her little world because
she "donest want drama", and then goes and
does the same damned thing to me.

what the fuck?

sigh.

So, long diatribe, after diatribe.. I think
at last count i had 8, count them 8, responses
to my journal entry, which i'd ripped a part from
someone along time ago, pasted it in here, and
then on whim, pasted it into my journal.

I think she was revising her comments, if
i'd bothered to keep any of them, and actually
read more than just a paregraph, i am sure
they actually held something of importance.

Next time, READ THE WHOLE THING, and not
just your favorite bits.

You are an art student.

CONTEXT IS EVERYTHING.

Sheesh...

i probably should have read them.

LOL

ah, the wonder of life, shall ever be the
mystery we choose.

And should she decide to read this.

You can bullshit all you want, about
cutting me out of your life because i
gave the fuckwit your password, but the
REALITY is, i got bored, pissed off
and ANGRY because you'd already decided
to cut me out of it, and without any
explanation.

Email, after email, no responses...

You simply decided to not bother. So,
cut the wounded act, and guess what.

I do know you better than anyone else
does, and did. You can proclaim that you've
changed, and are a different person all you
bloody like.

It's better that you live a lie, than
face the truth of the matter.

so, go ahead, and tell the world, that
you are the better person, and i am
simply being vindictive. but we both know
what the truth is.

I am no better, nor worse than you

So, go off on your life, enjoy the fact
that you wouldnt be in university if
i hadn't dragged you kicking and screaming
to the university, if i hadn't filled out
the documents for your student loans, and
that you wouldn't have had your apt either.

I did more for you than you ever admit to.

How many months did you sit in my apt,
playing my playstation, whining about not
having a job, and then fucking up the ones
you did get. For 4 months, every single
paycheck i had, went to paying the bills,
buying food and keeping you happy.

I should have taken responibility for all
of that, and not been so spineless. So, I
am still angry with you for that.

I blame you for alot of things. I shouldn't.
But i do. I wished, that things would get
better between us, but they never did.

Twice over, I tried, and failed. You'd
given up before the second time anyways.
It's why you cheated on me. Teach me a
lesson I believe was the reason going
around. How many times did you cheat on
me? I only ever knew of the 3 times.

And how much help did I still give you.
I was too forgiving, and too much in love.

You can claim you did it yourself, but you
didn't. How many hours of fights and crying
did i endure, because EVERYONE was telling
you, that you couldn't do it. That everyone
was telling you, that you couldnt do anything.

That no one would be your friend, that
everyone was abandoning you, the same way
you basically treated kricket, and sara,
and rhiannon and even me.

I gave, and gave, and gave. All you did was
take. And then you sought to say I was the one
who was taking and not giving in the relationship.

Fuck, did that PISS me off, and still does.

You are a hell of alot more selfish than I
am, and you didn't make my life miserable
you made it bearable. And i do love you,
with all my heart, but i just don't like
you as a person very much.

I have no desire to even talk with you
anymore. I've had my closure, it wasn't
the kind i was hoping for. But at least
I only think of you occasionally and not
everyday....

So, the tale ends here.

I wish you well in life. I really do.


~Timothy


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