nin137

Nick's Journal
2003-08-18 07:43:16 (UTC)

Ca[r]tharsis

so i've been doing a lot of traveling lately, what with
goign to s.f. and driving to juliann's house ("2 miles"
from my home, yet it always ends up being 3 and a fucking
half). really during these trips i do nothing. i listen
to music and think of stupid things.
like in david's car there's this knob for the a.c. and the
top part says "automatic" yet, you increase the amount of
air blowing if you turn the knob clockwise.......so then
it's not automatic, i mean if it's automatic then wouldn't
it not need to be turned? it should adjust itself if it
professes to be automatic.
so these are the inane arguments i have with myself and
eventually win.
well last time i was stuck in absolutely obiminal traffic,
my first question is "where the fuck are these people
coming from?" anyhow, i actually don't get pissed off in
bad traffic i just kind of resolutely plug through it in
the left lane.
but last time i was driving i started to think about all
the shitty things in my life (it's inevitable), and i was
really getting down....like the fact that i have no money,
well that's not correct, i have a bout 30 in my checking
account (i don't have a savings, which i'm pissed about),
but then i thought to myself, "hell what am i really going
to do in the next week that would require mroe than 30
bucks..." not too damn much
so slowly but surely i went through every "trial and
tribulation" in my mind and kept on coming up with reasons
why i shouldn't worry about it. by the end i felt like i
had just had an orgasm while doing heroin. i've never
felt so good in my life really, and i wasn't on anything
(shocking i know).
anyhow, i have never gone through a "cleansing of the
soul" before, but it felt damn good.